Hello and welcome!
Week Six Review
Part 1: Introduction to Childlikeness
What is childlikeness? In F.W. we define it as: The expressions, mannerisms and adorable traits of little children.
A. Let's look at the characteristics of little children
B. Characteristics When They Are Angry
- Emotions surface quickly
What Childlikeness Does
- Releases Troubled Emotions: Childlikeness teaches you how to express yourself when you are angry, hurt,
upset, or disappointed. Or how to react when he is angry, cross, irritable, or stern. It teaches you how to be honest, direct, open to get your feelings on the surface
to avoid frustration and resentments. This helps you avoid pain and conflict, turns crucial moments into humour, love and tenderness.
- Balances F.W.: Childlikeness is a balance to the previous part of F.W. The other lessons stress giving, yielding, overlooking etc.
Childlikeness adds spunk and keeps us from being a doormat to a man. This balances the Angelic side with a strongly Human quality.
- Spice: Childlikeness is the spice of the subject, the frosting on the cake. It makes a woman fascinating, fun, and full of surprises.
Part 2: Childlike Anger
Do you need this?
If you ever get angry, if your husband never mistreats you or does anything to provoke you to anger, you may not need
this part of the lesson. On the other hand, if you do sometimes get angry, and can't keep from saying things
you wish you hadn't, you need this part of the lesson. Or, if you are the quiet, smoldering type who doesn't say
anything, but suffers resentments within, you, too, need this part of the lesson. So give close attention.
A. You have a right to be angry when:
When he has mistreated you. When he has criticized you harshly, insulted you too far, imposed on you unduly,
neglected you overly, ignored you or teased you.
How to Express Childlike Anger
- Eliminate ugly emotions: Before you can express childlike anger effectively, you must first eliminate any tendency to bitterness,
resentments and the ugly emotions. To overcome these traits, learn humility, acceptance and forgiveness. Allow for mistakes and human frailities.
- Use childlike mannerisms:Learn to be an actress, if only a ham actress (this sounds silly but try it!)
Stomp your foot, lift your chin high, square your shoulders, pout, put both hands on your hips,
open your eyes wide, mumble under your breath, or turn and walk briskly away,
pause and look back over your shoulder.
- How can a great man like you pick on a poor little helpless girl like me.
- So this is the way you treate a poor little defenseless woman
- Oh, what a dreadful thing to do.
- I'm just a poor, erring, wayward little human being
- Everyone has at least one fault
When to Express Childlike Anger?
- When he mistreats you
- At the moment of offense: Respond quickly, not sometime later, when you've had time to think
of something to say. If you don't respond quickly, consider it your failure. Forgive and forget.
- Medium offense: Overlook trifles lest you appear picky. Major offenses may be too disturbing to express childlikeness. (not impossible though)
When to Express Childlike Anger?
When you know how to express childlike anger, but you just can't bring yourself to do it, it can
still help your marriage. When you know what you could have done and should have done, but didn't do, you tend
to blame yourself rather than your husband. This softens your anger and smooths your relationship.
When you find you cannot express yourself in a childlike way, you tend to search for another acceptable
means of dealing with angry feelings, so that you do not injure your relationship. If you cannot find another way, you tend to blame yourself, rather than your husband.
You do not have a right to be angry when
- He has failed in his world of responsibility
- When you feel the emotions of hate, bitterness, resentment
- When you don't like his behaviour and want to reform him
How to overcome the tendency to anger?
- By spiritual growth
- By building self-respect
Part 3: A Childlike Response to His Anger
When Your Husband is Angry, Cross, Harsh, Irritable, Stern
1. Be gentle, 'You can speak a gentle word, to the heart with anger stirred'.
2. The childlike way:
- Exaggerate by words or manner
- Distract his attention
- Change the subject
- Be submissive, in a childlike way
- Be teasingly playful
Case Study of Babbie
The Little Minister F.w. Chapter 25 (video movie as well, The Little Minister with Katherine Hepburn)
Exagerated by words and manners
- She clapped her hands
- It was beautiful.
- She jumped up and put her fingers in her ears.
Distracted his attention
- Sang a Scottish ballad
- Told him she lived in a tree, she got there on her broomstick.
- Asked him the color of her eyes
- When he was cross, she continued singing the ballad.
- Offered him the holly berries
- I know why you are so troubled. You have forgotten the color of my eyes. you think they are blue.
Changed the subject
- Do you prepare your talk like sermons?
- If it is about duty, don't say it and I will give you the holly berries
- Because they require me at home, she said, with a sly look at the fir tree.
- Would you like to hear all about me? Do you really think me a gypsy?
- In the middle of a conversation had him stand back to back, to see which was taller.
- Let us measure, she said sweetly to him. You're not stretching your neck are you?
Do forgive me for that dreadful lie. She had gone down on her knees...gazing imploringly at him, with hands clasped.
- I'm so sorry, as if he had caught her stealing jam.
- It was the cloak that bewitched me.
- Threw a snowball at him
- They require me at home, she said, looking at the tree.
- Do you prepare your talk like sermons?
- Put her fingers in her ears
Part 4: Asking for Things
The Usual Way of Asking
- Convincing: Reasoning, Arguing, Justifying, Pressure
- Do you use any of these methods?
- Have they been successful?
- What has been the result?
The Childlike Way of Asking
Childlike way is: Direct, honest, open
Examples: Will you please? May I please? It would mean so much to me!
Childlike way does not: Hint, Suggest, Convince, Demand
Why is this Method Effective?
It displays the dependent attitude on the part of the woman.
It keeps the man in position of authority.
It makes the man feel masculine.
What NOT to ask for
- Things which are selfish
- Things he can't afford.
- Love, tenderness, affection, sex.
- Takes you out to dinner, on a date, other attentions.
- Things which conflict with his responsibilities.
- Things which are against his convictions, judgement or principles.
- Things which would place a heavy burden on him, or worry.
- When you have not been doing your part as a wife.
Part 5: Additional Ways of Being Childlike
- Childlike Joy
- Childlike Trust
- Youthful Manner
- Youthful Appearance
Remember the ideal woman chart?
Part 6: Review of Objectives of the Course
The main objectives of the course is to have a happy, secure marriage and to win and maintain your
husband's love, tenderness and devotion.
Congratulations! You've made it through the entire Fascinating Womanhood course!
BIG CHEER TO YOU!
Things To Remember
Remember, nobody starts from zero. I don't know about you, but the first time
I read the book I was deeply humbled. I started to make small changes to my life and my confidence
in relationships and my marriage grew.
Some women read and get mad at themselves. I hope you will not experience those emotions. Don't beat
up yourself. Don't take this as law. Adapt what you need to your circumstances. Those 'ridiculous suggestions', leave them for now. Take bite-size portions. Don't overwhelm yourself by trying
to do it all at once, today.
Most importantly, I hope this course gives you your own 'fishing rod', HOPE and encouragement. I pray
that these Fascinating Womanhood tools enable you to live a magnificent life! Because here at elegantwoman.org, we want to live our best life,
not just live to get by.
Here is a very very condensed version of the course, just some things to remember! Bookmark this PAGE.
It was very lovely sharing this journey with you. Stay in touch! Please feel free to email me anytime.
Thank you for reviewing Week Six!
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