A bad taste!

Hello,

I am so bothered by my friends fiance I have been avoiding him (and her)- but I can't for much longer- they are getting married soon!
My friend invited me and my husband and two other couples to dinner at a nice restaurant her fiance works at. First of all her fiance ordered up tons of appetizers and bottles of wine- with out asking anyone at the table what they liked, which kind of rubbed me the wrong way since this was the first time two out of the three couples has even met this man. Anyway, after appetizers, drinks, entrees and deserts our check came- and it wasn't a small check. We divided in evenly among the four couples and it came to about $250.00 each couple. Each couple put in our share and the waiter came back and told us it was short. Come to find out my friends fiance comped his and my friends meal off the check so we were figuring the check needed to be split among four couples when really we should have split it among three. So basically one of the couples had already left and my husband and I and the remaining couple had to each contribute $125.00 more.
Needless to say I was pretty fired up. The fiance knew what happened and he didn't even offer to contribute- he really should have told us he comped off their meals before we split the check among three couples! None of us wanted to cause a scene and since my friend and her fiance were playing dumb and acting like we must have figured it wrong we just put it more money and didn't mention it again. It left a pretty bad taste in my mouth and I have been trying to avoid him ever since. They did say the wanted to "take me out" for dinner for my birthday- but you guessed it- we ended up splitting that check also!!!
My question is I guess- what should I do??

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May 01, 2011
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dump them!
by: Anonymous

dump them!

May 01, 2011
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Avoid or Adjust
by: TinkerCo

Don't be afraid to offer to pay only for what you ordered. I wouldn't be caught dead paying to spoil others. Additionally these aren't the best of financial times - I work hard for my earnings and if someone can't be considerate enough about that, then I'd avoid the situation at all costs. If you truly value the friendship, I would find ways to work around their short comings. For instance, I have a girlfriend who I absolutely adore - we've been friends for almost a decade. However, she is spoiled! (She knows this as well.) When I let her plan things, she would take me around town - I'd get home tired from visiting the trendiest places and with not a cent to my name. I adjusted - when I hang out with her I limit my availability...for instance instead of a day to hang out I give her only a couple of hours. If she wants to get a mani/pedi at a fancy salon, I suggest my half priced alternative which is just as good and probably even cleaner. I suggest places that I know she'll like, but are a fraction of the cost. It was difficult at first as I tend to be the nice friend that spoils everyone else - at some point I realized I needed to grow some thick skin and remember my priorities - if I don't respect them, then no one else will. I would be sure to communicate how uncomfortable you were with how poorly the situation was handled, and suggest that next time things be done differently - if you don't ask, you don't get.

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