Annoying In-laws

I have very well meaning in-laws. However, they insist on a few behaviors that I really am "TIRED" of.


1. They insist on calling every weekend, if we don't call them it's the end of the world. We are busy and work long hours, there is not much to report every week and why are we obligated to have to call every week, isn’t 2 weeks ok?

2. When we do call, all they talk about are their ailments, how old they are, when you get to be my age...blah...blah IT’S DEPRESSING. We know you are old, STOP ALREADY.

3. My mother-in-law is constantly talks about how much she paid for everything, she will tell a story about shopping at 3 different stores 10 miles apart to get a can of beans for 3 cents less, and that’s on the phone; in person I get an inventory of her pantry and where she buys everything and how much she saved by buying it in bulk. OK, so everyone has the right to discuss a good deal, but must it be the main topic of conversation? And then, it turns into another conversation on their ailments because they can’t eat certain foods!! COME ON!! Then we move on-to the curtains, rugs, etc, where they were bought, how much they cost and what a good deal they were. Sorry, they do look like they cost 2.95 a panel!!!

4. My husband and his father are not the closest, but I’m constantly put in the middle and asked why. That’s between him and his father, keep me out of it and stop cornering me when we are alone about it, it’s uncomfortable nor matter how many times I say it to them.

I know how each conversation is going to go like clockwork and how long it will take. I really don’t care how much the beans were, and I know you have “the diabetes”.

However, one thing I can say I’ve taken from this is......and I have grown children. I keep the conversations with my kids to; how is your work going, and comments on “that sounds fun” or I may even tell them a new joke I heard. I don’t want to ever become that annoying old person!!

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Nov 02, 2014
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A Professional opinion NEW
by: Anonymous

As a licensed psychologist for the past 35 years & having frequently dealt with behavior problems both in my work & personally I simply give those people five or ten minutes to "vent" & then simply ask them if they called with an interest in how I am doing. The answer is invariably "oh yes, of course." At that point I may bring up something that is of mutual interest. When they regress to their health or other chronic topics I kindly but firmly tell them we've already talked about this & I really don't enjoy rehashing it again.
Being assertive is not rude & unkind but being used is. If your call to someone clearly shows you have no interest in who you are calling then don't call them. They too have a life. Give others that respect & curtesy.

Mar 18, 2014
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annoying inlaws NEW
by: Anonymous

At least they are your inlaws. We have been snagged by two old people who are at least 25 years older than we are. We are with them at church. After church they want to go out to eat with us. We take them. We have taken them on rides in the country. This has gone on for three years. They had plenty of friends when they were in good health but now that the wife isn't well their old friends are nowhere in sight.

I am about to start really avoiding them, at least for awhile. I have begun to dread Sundays.

Mar 18, 2014
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annoying inlaws NEW
by: Anonymous

At least they are your inlaws. We have been snagged by two old people who are at least 25 years older than we are. We are with them at church. After church they want to go out to eat with us. We take them. We have taken them on rides in the country. This has gone on for three years. They had plenty of friends when they were in good health but now that the wife isn't well their old friends are nowhere in sight.

I am about to start really avoiding them, at least for awhile. I have begun to dread Sundays.

Dec 31, 2013
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Beyond Annoying In-laws NEW
by: Anonymous

Talking about annoying in-laws? My husband and I moved ten hours away because they were so annoying...and THEY FOLLOWED US!! Yes, within three years every last one of them were living twenty minutes away. So I have been trying to convince my husband that we should move again and he's not too happy with the idea. Because heaven forbid if his mother needed him to put up blinds at 2 in the morning (happened last week) and he's not twenty minutes away.....HELP!!!

Dec 21, 2011
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Fed Up NEW
by: Anonymous

My husband calls his Dad twice a day, sometimes more. Its a setup really because his Dad talks for a bit then he comes in with the - 'what time do you finish work', 'what day you got off' (Hubby works shift work) all questions as a lead up to 'ah i need to buy some cabbage' or ' you have a letter here that looks important' this is only to get Hubby over there to visit several times a week (not happy with the one visit a week). Now a visit is not allowed to be just a pop-in, it has to be a sit down have a cuppa tea visit. I know i may sound like a cow but I am fed up!! we are a young family, our son Jack is 15mths who wants to see his Dad to play. I think hubs Dad needs to call on his other 3 sons to visit him but oh no they are too busy the Dad says (like we wanna spend our precious time at the shops). I am so afraid I will start really resenting him. My husband is a big softy who is always putting his father before his family!! ha got that off my chest.

Jan 15, 2011
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take control
by: Anonymous

Weekly calls:
Don't take them. What are they going to do if you don't call them for a week? Yell at you? Call the police?

Ailments: Try to remember that as people get older, they get less social. You seem to be their weekly pressure valve. Tell them they get 5 minutes about ailments and food savings, and then they must go on to another topic. Let them vent, but after 5 minutes, most people work themselves up about the things they were trying to feel better about.

Cornering: Just say that you would prefer not to be in the middle, so could they please directly address the other one.

May 07, 2010
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Maybe It would Be Better For Us When We Get Old
by: Eunice replies

My sympathies. I get what you mean.

I wish I had a better answer for you. I'm sure many readers out there can relate.

Maybe when we are old, we just forget what it was like when we were our age and we rattle off at anyone who has ears. Perhaps when our time comes, it would be better because we have the internet, Facebook and all.

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