Annoying Overuse of "I Don't Know"

by Irritated Uncle

Dear Miss Manners:

I am the uncle of 16 nieces and nephews whom I love very much (I have no children of my own). Each of my four siblings is very successful and their children want for nothing. I am known in my family as giving the "best gifts" during birthdays and holidays. Last Thanksgiving, I asked my brother's two boys, ages 16 and 15, what they would like for Christmas. Their answers were "I don't know." I asked them each a second time a few weeks later what they might want for Christmas and one said "I don't know" and the other said "I don't know, let me get back to you." After hearing nothing from either of them, I again asked each of them what they would like for Christmas (this was a week before they left for vacation in Hawaii with their parents), the response from each of my nephews was "I don't know." When the boys returned from Hawaii they found two beautifully wrapped gifts from their uncle and when they opened them they each found a letter from the Ronald McDonald House for Kids thanking them for their $40.00 donations. My sister-in-law and two nephews will no longer speak to me as they feel slighted by the donation (I admit I was trying to teach my nephews a lesson in manners and gratitude). I find my sister-in-law and nephews’ attitude and behavior disappointing at best. Do you think I was wrong in how I handled this situation? Your answer will be presented to my family.

Irritated Uncle in Evanston