children at a wake and funeral

My daughter in law's 90 year old grandmother just passed

away. The wake is today at the funeral home.
My grandchildren ages 5 and 6 are being brought to the
funeral home because my daughter in law says there are
family and friends that have never met them and she
wants to show them off. An offer was made to babysit
the children at home which she refused. She says that
the children are old enough to stay up late on a school
night to attend this wake. Is it appropriate?

Comments for children at a wake and funeral

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Aug 03, 2013
It's up to the mom! NEW
by: Anonymous

The deceased is an extremely old dinosaur. At that age of death it is a celebration, not a mourning. I personally brought my 3 very young and well-behaved children to a 95 year old's funeral. The child of that 95 year old, my husband's aunt was thrilled I brought the kids. Beforehand, I told my kids the funeral we were attending was that of an ancient man. They didn't go anywhere near his casket and they were fine. My MIL did tell them that the deceased man was asleep. That dumbass. And one of my kids told her no he's not he's dead! I told my girls please don't listen to Grandma, she is very silly (stupid). Hope this helps.

Feb 12, 2010
Best to let your daughter-in-law make the decision
by: Anonymous

While your concerns are most definitely valid, you could easily be "stirring the pot" unnecessarily. If you push your opinion on her and it turns out everyone is thrilled with the children being there, you will be eating crow. If you push your opinion on her and it turns out you are right, she will be embarrassed and that could easily lead to her being angry towards you.

Your concern, aired once - and then your respect to let her and your son make the decision will best serve you. Your gracious silence is a better "told you so" and will earn you respect by your daughter-in-law - a young lady that is the mother of your grandchildren and therefore, someone you want to have a good relationship with.

Oct 01, 2009
Children At The Wake
by: Eunice

That depends on the family who organized the wake. Some prefer to have children around and some others not to.

In general, I believe if the children are old enough to behave themselves, not run around too much making loud noises, which is disrespectful, they should be able to attend the wake.

Best if you phone in advance and getting your answer might influence your daughter-in-law's final decision.

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