Dinner visitor asked to remove shoes

by KATHLEEN
(SARATOGA SP NY)

I asked my dinner guests to remove shoes when entering my home. I have very light carpeting and i believe in germs. MY GUEST REFUSED said her shoes were cleam. I advised her i had new slippers she could wear. I was very upset, but let it go for the sake of others. In future i will never invite these people to my home again.

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Jul 27, 2015
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Foot problem NEW
by: Anonymous

I would be so worried if I were asked to remove my shoes because I have sever arthritis in my feet and I can barely walk without my shoes. I would have to turn around and leave. So sad.

Jan 27, 2015
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there may be a reason they don't want to NEW
by: Anonymous

My mother had part of her foot cut off in a childhood accident, and she did not want others to see this. There are legitimate reasons that some people may want to keep their shoes on.


Dec 05, 2014
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An interesting blog NEW
by: Anonymous

IMHO shoes are not meant to be worn at home, be it yours our anybody else's. By the way, there is a special blog advocating the shoes-off policy and listing thirty seven reasons to follow such a policy.
This is the link:
http://shoesoffatthedoorplease.blogspot.com

Sep 29, 2014
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When in Rome NEW
by: Anonymous

People have forgotten how to behave like guests. Follow the rules of the host and leave your self entitlement at the door. Guests remove shoes in our home for two reasons 1) I have a toddler playing on the floor 2) Shoes are filthy, I mean really have some decency.

Do I think that it is out of line, no. We all have rules we expect others to follow, I doubt any of you nay-sayers would be okay with guests peeing on your bushes or tossing your vases around. Well... if you want your house rules respected, then respect the rules of others when in their home.

Jul 18, 2014
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Shoes off NEW
by: Debbie

I grew up where shoes were never worn in the house out of respect for the one who does the cleaning, and germs, in that people spit on sidewalks and streets, dogs use the outdoors as a bathroom and you never know what is on the bottom of your shoes. I ALWAYS remove my shoes/boots whenever I enter someone's home, no matter what the occasion or if my shoes match my outfit. I think this is respectful of the homeowner whom I treat as I wish to be treated, were it my home. I take my shoes off before anyone can asks me to. I have also been told by many, "It's ok you can keep your shoes on" to which I have replied, "No that's fine, I hear Grandma's voice telling me to take them off" and I laugh. Never has a problem. When I have guests I will say, "you can leave your shoes on these extra shoe mats I have put out for everyone attending." So far I have been fortunate to have not encountered anyone uncouth enough to not comply.

Sep 26, 2013
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My Bridge Group Does NEW
by: Anonymous

I belong to a bridge group and we play once or twice a week at a different home each time. The number of players can vary from four to twelve. We have been playing together for almost five years. As players arrive they immediately remove their shoes and go in stocking feet. Some players occasional will bring slippers or socks to put on to prevent snags to their p/h. We instituted this "rule" so as to keep the home of the hostess as neat as possible. When a new player joins us she is told before hand that she will have to remove her shoes when she arrives. If we go to one another's home for a non-bridge visit, shoes are still removed more out of habit than anything else. As one player remaked when we first started doing this.." I rather leave my shoes at the door when I arrive rather than hunt for them under tables when I leave"

Jun 04, 2013
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Never require, tacky to do so NEW
by: CAT

I understand that some people are concerned about germs, some are concerned about their carpets etc. However, you are the HOST. Your job is to make sure your guests are having a wonderful time and are comfortable...not your carpets.

DON"T have a party if you have these issues.

I was asked one time to remove my shoes and was mortified. I had a hole in my sock! Also, some people's outfit is all in the shoes/boots. My sister has horribly stinky feet! There are reasons we don't want to remove our shoes.

Another time I was actually escorted into the laundry room and told to leave my shoes there. I just declined and walked into the living room. Nothing more was said.

If it is very important then the compromise is to kindly say, "And if you choose, you may leave your shoes here." Nothing more.

May 23, 2013
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Mixed Feelings About This NEW
by: Anonymous

If somebody politely requested I remove my shoes, I would. I've been in cultures where it would be VERY rude to wear your shoes into their house. However, this person may have had a very good reason for not wanting to take off her shoes. Maybe she has a foot odor problem and is self-conscious about it. Maybe she has toenail fungus or athlete's foot and doesn't want to get it on the carpet (also very good reasons not to want to borrow, and ruin, somebody else's slippers). Maybe, as many people are, she's just not comfortable going barefoot around others. To ask is one thing, to demand is another. Never demand your guests do anything if they are not damaging or harming anything or anybody. If they were tracking mud that would be a different story.

Bottom line: if you are asked politely to remove your shoes, assume this is this person's cultural frame of reference or they just spent hundreds of dollars having their carpets steam cleaned and, if possible, comply. It won't kill you to respect their wishes in their home. If you are asked rudely, still comply if possible, but think twice before accepting another invitation.

If you are the one asking, and a person declines, assume they have horribly embarrassing feet and give them a pass unless their shoes are muddy. In the case of muddy shoes, give them a whisk broom to clean them and keep them in the kitchen. :)


Mar 25, 2013
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I agree with you NEW
by: Anonymous

I have 3 children, all of which play throughout my home. They play with toys from the floor and play in the floor. I ask every guest that comes into my home to remove their shoes. I would rather be seen as rude than have my children get sick from the germs off the bottom of someone's shoes.

Jul 23, 2012
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No respect for house rules from guests anymore? NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't think it was rude. Some religions and cultures require a person to remove their shoes when entering a house. If those people were to go to a persons home where it was their religious beliefs to remove their shoes or even a country and they refuse, that could get ugly. It is your house, you make the rules. I expect guest to respect the rules of my house when they come or I would just kindly ask them to leave. Don't let people walk all over you like that. It is very inappropriate to go to someones house and not respect the rules of their household.

Jul 23, 2012
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No respect for house rules from guests anymore? NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't think it was rude. Some religions and cultures require a person to remove their shoes when entering a house. If those people were to go to a persons home where it was their religious beliefs to remove their shoes or even a country and they refuse, that could get ugly. It is your house, you make the rules. I expect guest to respect the rules of my house when they come or I would just kindly ask them to leave. Don't let people walk all over you like that. It is very inappropriate to go to someones house and not respect the rules of their household.

Apr 22, 2012
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entertain in a restaurant NEW
by: Anonymous

You have been thoughtless. Carpet is meant to be walked on. Do you also cover your sofa in plastic? Some people may be self-conscious about their feet, socks, height, etc. Put your guests comfort above your carpet, or entertain in a restaurant.

Apr 17, 2012
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Ever had to replace Carpet?! NEW
by: Kristi

Ok, so perhaps you shouldn't DEMAND that your guests bare their tootsies on your rug, and should ASK in a way that makes your guests feel inclined to help you out. Anyone you invite into your home is most likely a friend, and friends will likely understand when you tell them, " Gee, I just had my carpets cleaned, would it be terribly imposing to leave our shoes here at the door?" If this is your normal routine, then anyone who knows you won't be surprised by your request.
Like I tell my children- patience and kindness towards others always reign supreme.

Dec 29, 2011
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Faux pas on your side NEW
by: Anonymous

Your guest wasn't rude. You are the one who were. You should not ask guests to remove shoes. Never. I wouldn't be surprised if your guests never returned even if you invite them again.

Dec 04, 2011
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Seriously? NEW
by: Anonymous

It sounds to me as if your behavior were out of line this time. While you can ask that people remove their shoes, you shouldn't DEMAND it of them. There may have been a reason why she refused. Is ONE person leaving their shoes on really going to ruin your carpets? I have light carpets too, but when I have guests over, I don't make them feel like they are going to soil my home. I just clean up after they leave.

Nov 02, 2011
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Carpeting Shouldn't Be More Important Than Your Guests
by: Anonymous

I would totally turned off by such a request. And to say she could wear new slippers? Ugh.

Aug 30, 2011
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Shoes left on
by: Anonymous

I doubt they would visit again even if you did invite them.

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