False Notions of Elegance
The Reason for Elegant Myths Article
Every now and then, I notice certain misconceptions of elegance and of being an elegant woman.
So therefore, I decided to write a page on some myths of elegance, which will hopefully dispel some common inaccurate beliefs about what it means to be elegant.
I will try to focus more on the character of an elegant person and to some extent, how men view elegant females.
I also try to show a little insight on the character of an elegant person,
Myths of Elegance
In order to be elegant, I have to be extremely conservative in what I wear. I cannot show skin.
I'm not sure where the idea of being elegant constitutes of wearing long sleeves and skirts and keeping long hair.
Yes, elegance contains a certain element of modesty in order to show exquisite taste and some restraint, but that does not mean drawing any attention to yourself is wrong. I believe the more important question is what kind of attention are you drawing?
I believe you can be elegant AND sexy. I think it has more to do with how you feel, rather than how you look.
Just like being sexy does not mean to dress in a way that shows alot of skin, you can be elegant and sexy.
Elegant women are boring, men are more attracted to non-elegant ones
What is attractive to men: EVERYTHING that is the OPPOSITE of themselves.
Well, at least the manly ones.
What is attractive to men:
Well there are different standards and styles of make up, hair, dressing etc. These attributes are the same but can vary in levels of elegance. Overall though, these attributes sound elegant to me!
Besides considering personality, I sincerely believe the greater your elegance, the more gentlemanly types you'll attract. Of course, it depends on what type of men you like too.
This is how the elegant myth started. Men sometimes are not aware of what they like.
When you ask them what kind of women they like?
They might reply,
And then point to all the sexy and provocative women types in men's magazines.
So sometimes women get confused and try to emulate these models, thinking that it will make them more attractive.
However, no matter how much all men whistle at these women, the good types don't usually marry them.
Though I have to admit men are not aware of what they like:
When I interview them, they think they like:
I think now it is appropriate to introduce the book, The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Even if they did date one of these provocative females, as the relationship progresses, the men would eventually want their girlfriends to cover up a bit more.
All men like girls who take care of themselves, are groomed and make an effort to look their best. They loved to be envied and admired, especially by other men for having a pretty and elegant partner.
As Mdm Dariaux says, "They particularly dislike vulgarity in the woman they love."
Elegant Myth Three: Elegance is expensive. It is only for those who can afford fine things.
There is a certain elegance in fine things as they made with the highest quality. These things are fine because of years of hard work, thought and polish, time had been put into making these things.
A finely made cotton shirt has had more attention and precision in its manufacture: its fabric, the hems, the texture, buttons and the cut. Thus it looks more elegant compared to a quickly and badly made one.
As more work went into the better made cotton shirt, it is only reasonable to expect higher prices.
In the society we live in, businesses thrive on making a range of quality shirts to suit every budget. Which one to choose then?
The elegant guideline is to pick the one offering the best value, or the best quality that you can afford.
You don't need to spend $500 on a cotton shirt if you can buy a good, reasonable quality one at $100.
Choosing elegant things for yourself and family need not be an expensive affair.
You just need to refine your tastes - learn discretion. Enhance your ability to deduce the quality of the make of the item.
Observe, touch, feel, try it on, get reviews from others.
Hunt down bargains. I find it helpful to compile a list of my favourite shops for everything - usually stores and brands are consistently reliable - and it cuts down wasted time on searching during shopping.
Basically, this means to do your homework. Although higher priced items are expected to be of quality, I know it's not always true. Likewise, not all cheaper goods compromise on quality.
Elegant Myth Four: Looking rich is elegant. People who are elegant are usually of a certain status. Wealthy people are always elegant.
Actually, it is considered bad taste to be showy, flashy of one's wealth. So is boasting, bragging, name-dropping. See Conversation Blunders.
The more humble a rich person is, the greater everyone's respect grows for that person.
Wealthy people are not always elegant as you can see reports of certain highly-paid celebrities indulging in embarrassing behaviour.
Wearing designers and carrying designer goods helps you look elegant
True opulence, like true luxury should be practiced undetectable - except for those who have a trained eye for finer things and realize her brown pair of shoes is an original of the make and they cost more than her entire outfit.
Where elegance is concerned, the greater the luxury, the more discreet it is.
Understated is very elegant.
Elegant Myth SixWearing pearls all the time makes you look elegant.
Elegant Myth Seven
A sophisticated person is elegant.
Elegant Myth Eight
An elegant person looks perfect and expensive and groomed. As long as she looks elegant, she is elegant.
Regarding Elegant Myths Six, Seven, Eight:
I had a friend who wore pearls all the time, thinking she looked elegant. She spoke of eloquently of music, travel, fashion, cuisines and tried to speak a french word or two. She managed to get into parties and certain social circles and worked hard by expanding her friendship list on Facebook by checking out her friends' friends.
However, there are many occasions where she behaved badly. She constantly took advantage of others, never paying for her own food or drinks, refusing to order but later eating off others' plates and then refusing to contribute to the bill. She cancels on her appointments on a whim, is rude to people who are not well-off, connected or beautiful amidst of other appalling things.
Her constant bragging and name-dropping are embarrassing and she acts like she is much closer to the people she namedrop. She managed to conceal her character from most especially those who met her superficially, but soon the word got out.
I'm sure its just a matter of time she will realize and learn to be kind.
It is really not about how you dress by how you behave. Dressing or appearing elegant will only propel you forward for a short fleeting time.
Elegant Myth NineElegant styles are boring. They stick to only classic styles and have no individuality. They do not follow fashion and are not fashionable.
Elegant styles are usually classic and timeless. However some fashionable styles are also elegant though they may not be classic or timeless.
It is possible to be elegant and fashionable as well.
(though not too fashionable).
Elegant Fashions are usually- understated- simple and clean with accents- draws attention to the person rather than the item (bag,shoes, designer logo)- not adorned with ostentatious designer logos- chic
Elegant Myth TenExtravagance is elegance.
Not necessarily so. I find the most elegant of people are the opposite of extravagance.
Extravagance gives me the impression of impulse, excessiveness and wastefulness.
The word elegance is derived from the Latin eligere, meaning to select.
Read also about my inspiration of the non-designer elegant woman.
If you observe people whom you think are very elegant, you will notice how they take their time to select and choose.
This applies to all areas of their life. They choose their clothes with high quality because they want more value and use of it. They choose their shoes well because they want them to last. They choose what to do with their time, not wasting it, not living a life of hurry.
Despite that, they are often very generous towards people, especially their family and loved ones.
Elegant Myth ElevenElegance is only for the past.
I can see the reason for the myth. I, myself think how is it possible to be elegant in this time-poor world, endless choices of possessions, increasing reliance on gadgets which change the way we communicate or have relationships with others.
We have to make an elegant way of living based on principles, otherwise, we will get lost in the clutter and noise. I believe it is possible to be elegant in modern society. Afterall, we naturally refine our lives, to make it better. A life of thought and measure subconsciously gets us there!
Being elegant is a choice. It is a series of making better choices.
Elegant Myth TwelveThere is only one style of elegance, it cannot be personalized.
Elegance is all about self-awareness, thoughtfulness and experience.
Many women who are not classic beauties have made a name in elegant fashion. Audrey hepburn was not a classic beauty from her time but is the first woman everyone thinks about when it comes to embodying elegance. She had ears that stick out, was much too thin, had a body that was somewhat less curvy and was flat-chested in eras were a full chest and 'booty, curves, and women who had a bit more to grab were prized beauties.
Aside from the basic principles, there is ways where you could personalize your own sense of stylish elegance. Elegant principles merely serve as a frame. F ind out what you like and use that as your own drawing board.
That's all for now and I hope I did some justice to dispelling those myths! Thank you so much for reading this page.
You might be interested in
Return to top of Elegant Myths
Return to How to be elegant
Go back to homepage