embarrassed to be with family or friends who have no manners

by Stephanie
(Arizona)

I love my sister-in-law, but I hate taking her out ANYWHERE. She has absolutely does not have any manners.


From dining out to attire, to conversation skills. Sometimes her attitude towards people (rolling her eyes at the waiter), her constant texting during dinner/converstaions and her loud belching every second of the day, or using her fingers to eat salad dressing left over from her meal, is embarrassing.

I was wondering, what is the best way to approach her. I feel that if I correct her, she will be offended and resistant. She's 23 years old, I feel that by now she should be conciously aware of her behavior, and that someone needs to put a stop a to it.

I would like to spend time with her - out in public- but at this point I cringe at the fact she's attending. WHAT TO DO?

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Aug 11, 2011
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by: stephanie

Thank you. My husband, grins and bears it, he says "it really doesn't bother me, so it shouldn't bother you," and disregards the behavior. I have tried jokingly pointing out things, and it doesn't have much of an effect. I guess I'll have to change my tone, and if it dosen't work, I can't let it bother me.

Aug 10, 2011
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grin and bear it OR show a bit of disapproval when she does it
by: Eunice

Have you ever tried reprimanding her light-heartedly for once, for example when she burps loudly? Did you go, 'Tricia! That's not very nice' and look at her disapprovingly?

Of course, one thing at the time.

What does your brother (or her husband) do when she does all these things?

I guess it's not your job to teach her manners, so that is the tricky part. If you love her, you can try telling her gently but unless a person sees the need to change, your words will fall on deaf ears.

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