Manners And Etiquette
How To Be Exquisite

Hello and welcome!

Do you know that etiquette and manners are not the same?

Everyone usually agrees that there is always improvement in their manners and etiquette.

I've taken much pleasure in studying this topic and happy to share what I've learned.

I think both the desire to improve and be a well-mannered person is a beautiful thing. By doing so, we are acting in love. Love is kind, patient ... because we are thinking about others before ourselves. We prevent annoyances, misunderstandings, imposing and living this way makes our world a better place

Thank you for that!

Why You Should Pay Attention To Your Manners

I loved the manners of Linda & Cole
Porter in the movie Delovely

Have you met someone you really liked?

She most probably had the most beautiful manners and she made you feel at ease. She was a lady.

**Here is the greatest test of elegance and refinement - Her Manners

Manners are wonderful to have. It makes a person beautiful.

Manners are love, they are kindness, they are refinement. I enjoy being in a family where everyone speaks kindly to each other.

What Are Your Manners Saying About You?

Our manners say much more about us than we realize.

1. They tell other people who you are.


2. How you were brought up.


3. What kind of family you have.


4. Your social economic status (or matter-of-factly, class)


5. Your level of education.


6. The extent of your reading, travelling experiences


7. What kind of person you are.


8. What do you think about all the time (are you a self-absorbed narcissist? Or are you considerate of the other person)?


9. Your level of self control, the way you handle conflict, what is it like to live with you...amongst other things

Manners' Little Secret

Despite your insecurities, you can arise above all that and communicate a better sense of yourself (as opposed to reality and history), with fine, elegant manners.

I love this quote by J.K Rowling

"It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities" - J. K. Rowling

In other words, when you have fine manners, you can be who you want to be. You choose who you want to be. People won't even have a clue about lack of your education, wealth etc. They might even think 'way off'.

There are times we feel we aren't good enough. We aren't educated enough, sophisticated enough, or are embarrassed of your family's lack of resources. We didn't go to the right schools, hang out with the right people etc.

Despite all the above, you can rise beyond all that WITH the best, most beautiful, exquisite manners. That's Manners' little secret.

People probably assume you were educated at top schools. They'll like to be around you because of the way you make them feel. They'll feel impressed by and maybe even secretly admire you.

If one day, you get 'found out', you'll realize that it no longer matters because you have assimilated. You've become one of them. You're friends now with people you like and choose to be friends with.

At the end of the day, we are not interested in people who do not like us. We want to find friends of similar tastes and goals.

Whatever your social circle is, everyone likes someone who have manners. They like you. They want to be around you. They warm up to you. They think you're great.

You've become classy.

Manners are kindness. And people respond to kindness.

Speaking kindly to someone regardless, is a show of mutual respect or the recognition that we are all the same.

Being well dressed is pleasant and inspiring. Otherwise, it is distracting and negative.

When you communicate with manners, you've considered the other person's thoughts and feelings. That is kindness.

Manners is NOT Etiquette

Audrey looking lovely.

Manners are the result of a kind heart. Etiquette is an orderly way of doing things and a customary code of conduct of good behaviour.

Etiquette is like the Law but it is not the law.

Have you ever tried reading etiquette books?

In general, etiquette are a list of (almost boring) rules. While some are helpful, they can get quite ridiculous. It is simply impossibly to remember all of them.

Manners, on the other hand, are a result of graciousness. Having manners is a sure tell-tale sign.

An elegant person, despite wearing a pretty dress, poised, looking gorgeous, falls fast from elegance when her face turns sour as she complains about everything.

How to Have Both Manners and Etiquette

If you have manners first, etiquette will follow. Etiquette are well thought of rules that present an orderly way of doing things, as well as the most considerate, conflict-avoiding way.

Don't Get Offended By The Lack Of Manners

Having manners is also about putting up with the lack of it in someone else.

It'ss easy to get offended when you've put in considerable effort in your manners but someone else has not. How tempting it is to go, "she's so rude!". Firstly, the harsh expression on your face is not exactly becoming. Secondly, we'll still be gracious in spite of. Most people have good intentions but do not realize.

Always try to be patient and see others in the best light. God helps us with His grace!

Do you have an etiquette question? See Elegantwoman.org's Etiquette Forum ask them there.

For other articles on Manners and etiquette, See

1. How to have Exquisite Manners

2. A lady's Etiquette

3. Common Questions on Etiquette For Elegant Mothers Teaching Manners to Children

4. Socializing Elegantly

5. Elegant Entertaining

6. Manners Lesson Plan For Elegant Mothers Teaching Manners to Children

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Tags: Manners, Etiquette, elegance, elegant manners, social graces, etiquette for girls, etiquette for teenagers, general etiquette