Etiquette Or Manners?

The Excellence of Manners over Etiquette

I receive many questions about the differences of manners and etiquette. It seems that everyone agrees that they've always want to improve their manners. And so birthed the topic for this group of pages.

I've taken pleasure in studying this topic and happy to share what I've learned.

I think both the desire to be a well-mannered person is a beautiful thing. By doing so, we are acting in love. Love is kind, patient ... because we are thinking about others before ourselves. We prevent annoyances, misunderstandings, imposing, the way we go about our lives is made a tad more pleasant.

Enjoy!

Love, Eunice

Why You Should Pay Attention To Your Manners

Have you met someone you really liked? Not just are impressed by, but genuinely, warmly touched by her.

Most likely, she had the most beautiful manners and made you feel at home.

Here is the greatest test of elegance and refinement:

Her Manners

Manners are such a beautiful thing and wonderful to have.

Manners are love, they are kindness, they are refinement. I enjoy watching the family who speak kindly to one another, not in overtones gushing with praise, or in harsh loud tones and gestures for everyone to see and hear.

Our manners say much more about us than we realize.

• # They tell other people who you are.
• # How you were brought up.
• # What kind of family you have.
• # Your social economic status (or sadly, class)
• # Your level of education.
• # The extent of your reading, travelling experiences
• # What kind of person you are.
• # What do you think about all the time (are you a self-absorbed narcissist? Or are you considerate of the other person)?
• # Your level of self control, the way you handle conflict, what is it like to live with you...amongst other things

I'll illustrate ALL the above questions with many common examples in a little while.

Let me tell you a little secret

What Will People Think Of You

Despite your insecurities, you can arise above all that and communicate a different sense of yourself (as opposed to reality and history), with fine, elegant manners.

In other words, people won't even have a clue about lack of your education, wealth etc. They might even think way off.

Maybe we feel we aren't educated enough, sophisticated enough, or are embarrassed of your family's lack of resources. We didn't go to the right schools, hang out with the right people etc.

The secret is despite all the above, you can rise beyond all that WITH the best, most beautiful, exquisite manners.

People might even think you went to the top schools in the country. Or that you are really smart. They want to be around you.

Even if eventually, you were asked pointedly about a personal question, it doesn't matter any more because you have assimilated.

They treat you like one of them. At the end of the day, we are not interested in people who do not like us. We want to find friends of similar tastes and goals and be in their company.

Whatever your social circle is, the point is everyone takes to people who have manners. They like you. They want to be around you. They warm up to you. They think you're great.

You are classy.

Manners are kindness. And people respond to kindness.

Speaking kindly to someone regardless, is a show of mutual respect or the recognition that we are all the same.

Being well dressed is making a pleasant appearance with your company instead of forcing them to raise eyebrows when you appear with a pale face and shoddy shoes.

The way you say something can communicate that you've considered the other person, that you've put yourself in their shoes before speaking.

Manners is NOT Etiquette

Manners are the result of an attitude of a kind heart and being considerate of others and etiquette is a customary code of conduct for polite behaviour.

Have you ever tried reading etiquette books?

Or searched etiquette articles online?

In general, etiquette are a list of (almost boring) rules. While some are helpful, they do get quite ridiculous.

Who's going to remember which sequence should come first in an invitation and who's going to pay for the spoons in a bridal shower?

Manners, on the other hand, are a result of graciousness.

Having manners is a sure tell-tale sign.

You can witness an elegant person despite wearing a pretty dress, poised, looking gorgeous, falling fast from elegance when her face turns sour as she proceeds to complain (about everything).

Do Not Be Too Hard On The Uninformed

One point though, its easy to get offended when you have developed your manners by someone else who has not. Try not to take offense. Remember that she probably has good intentions but fail to communicate effectively. (Point her to this site!)

Always try to see the best light in others. God helps us with His grace!

How to have Manners

I like the saying, give a poor man a fish a day and he'll have to depend on you for the rest of his life. Teach him to fish and he will learn how to take care of himself forever.

This will be my approach to the next article.

Click here to go to

# "Exquisite Manners: How to take your manners to another level."

Thank you for reading this page!

You might be interested in:
A Lady's Rules
Common Etiquette Questions For A Lady
# Socializing elegantly# Elegant Entertaining # Business Manners # How to announce your graduation properly

I will also include some common errors for some self-evaluation!

Click here to see # Most common mistakes!

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