Everybody's Cook

by Jennifer Bourne
(Toronto, ON)

I love cooking and my family all know that. Often times I get invited for dinner and everyone waits around and talks about how hungry they are until I get up and say ok "let's see what you have in the fridge" and start cooking.

When I invite people over for dinner, even if they were a CHEF I would never ask them to cook or even hint at it.

Am I being petty or is this completely rude?


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Mar 22, 2011
Stop cooking
by: Anonymous

If this as much of a habit and expectation as it sounds, I would say that the only way to stop it is to stop cooking. Join everyone else in talking about being hungry. After a while, if the hosts make no move to provide the dinner that you were invited for, thank them for inviting you over, tell them you had a lovely time being with them but that you must be getting home. Then go to your own home and cook there.

Oct 07, 2010
Shall We Order In?
by: Dandelion

Let me get this straight. You're invited as though you were a guest but expected to play host (or kitchen help) when you arrive?

When people start getting hungry, the host of the party should coordinate the solution. If you are asked, refer questions or suggestions through the host ("It's Nancy's get-together, and I'd never dream of countermanding her plans for the evening.")

If you are asked to cook, state gently but firmly that you were asked as a guest, just as everyone else was, and you didn't come prepared to cook.

This may be a bit uphill, since your relatives seem used to bullying you into cooking, but stick to your guns.

Sep 24, 2009
Agree to dinner, but say you're too tired to cook this time.
by: Eunice

Dear Jennifer,

I suppose the question is out of how many times are you annoyed when your family 'hints' at you to cook as opposed to enjoying it.

If you find that you are getting more annoyed, simply refuse to cook and suggest going out to get something to eat.

I totally agree that I would never ask, even a chef to cook, when he/she is invited to dinner.

Perhaps they have been spoiled.

I suppose you don't mind cooking for everyone in that kind of situation every once in a while, but when it happens too often, it's up to you to put a stop to it, before you get too annoyed.

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