How do I answer, is he/she your boyfriend or girlfriend?

by Maria
(Portugal)

I'm a teenager at the first year of university. I´ve been dating a friend of mine for about two weeks. We´re becoming closer to each other and I think we have a great and healthy relation. However, we're in that stage that comes before officially becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.

When we are with other friends, it's probably noticeable that we are starting a relation and that we care about each other.

Here is my problem: I've sometimes seen some of my friends asking a person "is he/she your boyfriend/girlfriend?". The point is I wouldn´t know what to answer if someone would try this approach with me. And I would feel embarassed.

I think that a lady should never be the first to bring this topic to conversation with the gentleman, but I´d really like to find out what he thinks about our relation or what he calls it.

Thank you for reading this and for trying to help!

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Jun 30, 2010
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thank you!!
by: Maria

Dear Annie,

Thank you so much! That's a great answer that hadn't occured to me. I'll follow your advice :)
Have a great day!

Maria

Jun 29, 2010
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Vague answer the best you can do
by: Annie

Maria,
It is rude for anyone to even ask the question while your date is standing within hearing. However, since you can't control other people's rudeness, I would answer in the following manner: Look very sweetly at the date in question while saying "John is a very special friend with whom I enjoy spending time with."

This gives enough of an answer without actually giving the status of your relationship to the person asking while also not putting any pressure on your date to define a relationship when he/she may not be ready to answer that question either.

Good luck!

Jun 18, 2010
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I'd really like to know your opinion on the subject!
by: Maria

Dear Eunice,

I asked this etiquette question some time ago and you've allowed its publication on elegantwoman.org. First of all, I'd like to thank you for that. However, you didn't post any answer yet, neither has any reader. I wouldn't insist on this point, but the fact is that I really need some advice on the topic and I think you're probably the best person to help me because I have your criteria in high consideration :)
The real point of the question is that I'd like to know how to talk to my friend about the status of our relation, not forgeting that I want to be a real lady.

Thanks for reading and sorry for bothering :)

Maria

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