How do I remain calm and keep my cool?

by Jennifer
(Ohio)

Hello!


First of all I would like to thank you for creating this website, you are one of the top reasons that I became more outgoing. I moved from Upstate New York to Central Ohio. I am not the best at making new friends, and I realized that, after reading seveal pages, if I did not put myself out there I would become that weird old cat lady that lives at the end of the street in the creepy house.

Anyway my question is How do I deal with my family? I am the eldest child in my family, and my younger sister bugs me to no end. And everytime she makes me angry I start yelling at her, which in turn gets me yelled at for yelling at her. I was wondering if you had any tips for me to try to keep my cool when she is provoking me.

Again thank you so much!

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Aug 03, 2012
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Take a deep breath NEW
by: Meredith

Dear Jennifer,

As a fellow eldest sibling I can relate to your issue. While a younger sibling can be annoying, it is usually because they admire you and want to be like you. It's a form of flattery but it can be irritating.

My advice would be to talk to your sister about this. Explain that while you love her, you do need alone time and sometimes you don't want to be bothered. Generate a code, like a closed door/open door system so she will know when not to bother. Also, spend time with her! Take her on "girl's dates" where you can spend quality one on one time together. By freely giving your time, your sister won't have to fight for it.

Be sure you have an alone space you can retreat to when you need it. Perhaps talking to your parents to see if you could have your own room or another private space may be helpful? Even if that is not feasible, you can go for a walk when you need time for yourself.

I hope this helps.

Meredith

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