How many bridal showers are enough??

by Isabell
(Atlanta, Georgia)

My neice is getting married in a few months. So far she has had four bridal showers - including showers given by friends and one even given by her mother! I attended the shower hosted by her mother since it was intended for family.

The bride-to-be is also graduating college in a few weeks, so a graduation gift will be in order, as well. We have a very large extended family, so there are always birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, graduations, attend and bring gifts for.

Although I do feel that having four showers is a bit excessive, I am confident the lucky couple will not want for much as they start their new life together. Today was the deal-breaker for me when I received yet another shower invitation - but this one is for the groom!!!!

He is actually registered at two places in town for tools, camping equipement and the likes. I feel that if he wanted to do this, invitations should have been sent to his male buddies only - not to family members who have already given them gifts! Where do you draw the lines these days????

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May 22, 2014
Have a party but for heaven's sake don't register for gifts! NEW
by: Anonymous

It's vulgar to register. Why? Because registering is asking for gifts, and even worse, specifying the gifts that you want.

Registering for wedding gifts is a common vulgarity. Registering for shower gifts is unspeakable.

Traditionally, shower gifts are small token gifts. And that's all.

Apr 15, 2014
Demanding brides... NEW
by: Anonymous

First of all family members should not be throwing bridal OR baby showers. Maids/Matrons of Honor/best friends throw the shower and invite family, friends and the bride's co-workers (if they are close to the bride). The bride herself and/or her mother can offer suggestions as to whom to invite BUT ARE NOT IN CHARGE of the shower. Multiple showers is just plain greedy. "Groom showers" are ridiculous and VERY greedy. Bridal/Baby registries are suggestions for gifts not a list of demands. What is lost in all of this is invitation recipients have the right to opt out of this greed-fest. "Congratulations, wish you well, sorry I can't attend" is an acceptable response as is the decision whether or not to send a gift. If the bride/mother-to-be throws a hissy--well that's HER problem.

Jan 31, 2014
no limit to showers NEW
by: Anonymous

There is truly no limit to how many showers can be thrown in another person's honour, that is really up to the host. However, the guest of honour should make a point to be sure the guest lists don't overlap and have the same people being invited to every shower being hosted for them.

Jul 16, 2012
Why multiple? NEW
by: Meredith

Some of my friends have had multiple showers but it was when they had "groups" in different towns. So the bridal shower in the home town would have a different group of people than the shower in the bride's current town. I feel this is acceptable, as it allows everyone the chance to participate and the bride is the only one who needs to travel.

Perhaps the bride feels your presence would add to the event and she appreciates spending time with you so much she invited you twice. I would not assume she is being inconsiderate or trying to get more gifts, though she may be.

In this situation, I would send a note of congratulations and give your regrets if you feel put upon. Another option would be to attend and not give another gift.

May 07, 2012
Too many showers.... NEW
by: Anonymous

My neice recently married and had 6 wedding showers. She had to go back and register for more...a little ridiculous I think...I was actually invited to 2 of them...??? How much "stuff" do these people need these days??? Really shouldn't this bride have drawn the line somewhere? Needless to say, the wedding was very far away and I could not afford to attend... and buy gifts...

May 07, 2010
Send A Note
by: Eunice

That sounds like an awful amount of showers. I've never heard of grooms having showers.

If I have already done my part and already have showered them with gifts (pun intended), I'll simply send a congratulatory note and rsvp that I'm unfortunately unable to attend.

Thanks for writing in.

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