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How To Be Lovely

“The most effective kind of education is that a child should play amongst lovely things.” - Plato (from Lovely Quotes)

Elegance must be combined with loveliness, because one usually not just desire to be elegant simply for themselves, but to shed a little joy around her and beautify her world.

Loveliness - it is defined by our dictionaries as "exquisite beauty" but there is an intrinsic value to that word, to a beauty that is natural, internal that comes from goodness and love within and the heart.

Cultivate Loveliness - A Useful Tip

A useful overall tip I have found that it is easier to 'be the right person' than to 'try to be the right person'.

For instance, if I know in my mind that I should not be late, I try very hard not to be late by setting a timer, an alarm etc. It is hard work, very hard for me indeed.

However, if I have reverence for other people's time, I WILL not be late. It is easy to do. For instance, if I were meeting the Queen of England, a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you would naturally never be late, you might be 2 hours early! It is very thoughtful to hold a respect for other people's time, not to keep them waiting.

How To Be Lovely As Audrey Hepburn

http://www.flickr.com/photos/golf_pictures/ / CC BY 2.0

She is one who ...

is generous with her smile.

My heart instantly warms up to a person who smiles. It is especially big-hearted to be the one who smiles first because it takes a certain type of courage and lack of self consciousness as well as a positive belief in the good of people that a smile will be returned.

A smile encourages other smiles and a pleasant countenance fills the room!

is kind.

She asks about your family, if they are well and of course about you. She listens and refrains from talking about herself, unless asked. More on the art of conversation

If you have had an embarrassing moment, like a cough or sneeze she will appear to never have noticed it. If you have spilled soup on yourself, she would never stare and make light of it.

Her words are kind and thoughtful. Her gestures and actions reflect that too, a little pat on the head for a little dog, listening with delight when children attempt a conversation with her, a helping hand offered with the elderly.

is on time, if not a little early.

when she has set an appointment with someone. If she is foresees to be five minutes late for her hair appointment, she phones as early as fifteen minutes before. She takes into account potential time-hazards when planning her time.

As mentioned above, she has a deep reverence for time and other people's time.

She sticks to her appointments, come rain or shine. She is dependable on turning up and are never prone to cancel unless there is a life or death situation.

Time is one of the most valued currency. While monies can be lost, it may be earned once again, but when time is lost, time is lost for ever.

She displays her reverence for time in her daily life, setting an balanced devotion to her family and time for herself, or between work and leisure.

believes others come first.

She moves into the middle of the train to allow others more room to come in after her, gives up her seat to the one who needs it more than her. She stirs her tea quietly, in order not to call attention to her cup while others are talking.

She respects others' wishes and personal choice, and will not ask intruding or potentially embarrassing questions. She also respects opinion of others, while she may not agree with them, will try her best to be gracious about it.

It is an old fashioned belief that should receive more credit for its wisdom.

is disciplined in her mind and heart.

She never assumes that she is important, well known, or that people are thinking or talking about her, or will offer a ride home.

When she has the opportunity to be graced by one of the above, she graciously accepts it and shows her appreciation.

She never goes "Do you know who I am?", no matter what a VIP she is.

She'll never steals someone's thunder by switching the topic to herself, for instance if someone was excitedly talking about her wedding plans, to "oh in my time, we had more than..."

She never allows herself to go over an embarrassing situation involving herself in her mind. She disciplines herself not to fuss over it and get on with it. She does not get embarrassed.

She is disciplined in her lifestyle, not allowing herself to be drunk with wine, be addicted to bad habits of eating junk food, shop incessantly, be over ridden with debt, have too many possessions, or have disorder in her life and home.

She also knows being disciplined in her heart and mind means making some effort to 'guard her heart'. In Proverbs 4:23, it says "Above all, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Guarding your heart I feel is reading, watching, listening to material that will give you or inspire good fruits such as love, patience, kindness etc.

I find it very useful to attend a church weekly, read a daily reading like a good blog, or devotional where I can opt to watch, listen or read. I find reading a good book helps as well. Its only human to fuss over yourself and thus having a constant training and devotion to our minds and heart is a must.

How To Be Lovely

is impeccable in appearance.

It is a matter of taking pride in your appearance.

I was once told that in France, it is considered rude to go down to the bakery to get some bread in your home slacks and unmade face - because you force others to look at you in less-than-presentable appearance.

Good posture is very important as well. A beautiful impeccable appearance may be ruined by a poor posture. Keep your back straight at all times, as much as you can. Do not fold your arms or slouch. Learn to feel graceful with good posture. (More about developing poise.)

I don't know why this is, but I feel people whom I've met that are lovely, always seem to have a very beautiful manner of grooming.

She definitely does not look to spend more than a reasonable amount of time getting dressed. Perhaps it can be described as being impeccably dressed, even though it might be simple, shows a sense of thoughtfulness in her life.

How To Be Lovely

has a good work ethic.

Just as she is always on time, she has a strong work ethic.

She performs what is required of her, without complaining. She works hard and doesn't give in even though she is tired. If she has a big client meeting the next day, she prepares for it and is confident. She doesn't go out the night before if she has to pull off a big project the next day.

"I adored my work and did my best." - Audrey Hepburn

has a balanced life with her values intact.

Though I've met lovely women with busy lives, though they do not carry themselves to be busy. She learns about her priorities, her values between work and family, and simplifies her live to keep her life manageable.

Depending on her stage in life, she employs a system to help her with her tasks, ensures that she does not neglect her health or makes time for friends and a worthy cause to as much as possible with her resources.

She is devoted to her family. As passionate as she is with her work, she is careful not to neglect her family. She is also not entirely devoted to her family that she neglects the happenings of all around her, the world and takes time to pursue varied interest, for the expansion and improvement of her mind.

She knows when it is too much for her to take on, and will kindly reject additional offerings if she is aware that she does not have enough time to do it justice. Knowing that if she takes on too much, whatever she does may become sloppy.

Due to a very disciplined manner of living, she enjoys what she has chosen, designed. She is never hurried, never rushes or hurry.

loves.

She loves. She loves her husband, her children, her mother-in-law. She loves dogs, beautiful gardens, books. She takes time to get to know the world around her.

She does not merely expresses it with words but through actions.

She employs a thoughtfulness and observation of matters around her and she knows her world well. She can tell you which child loves most to eat, do, or which is their favourite toy. She can recount silly stories of her dogs.

She loves her house by beautifully decorating it and up keeping it with the likeness of a child playing with a dollhouse.

never lets herself believe that anybody is different from anybody.

It is very respectable and civil attitude to not think you are more important than anyone else or have the view that someone is more important than you.

With this viewpoint, you'll be surprised how our manner of treating a person regardless of, will remain the same.

Though one is prone to return a nasty comment to a rude gesture is first made, it takes a woman of greater character to take the higher road.

is gracious.

She assumes the best of people. She says, "Oh, I trust and am very sure that in time to come, you will know what to do." whenever she is confided in, instead of giving advice.

When complimented, she accepts it kindly but gives away the credit, praising someone who has helped her with her hair.

How To Be Lovely

is authentic and never puts on pretenses.

She is unafraid to say that she doesn't know and does not pretend to know.

She does not fake her youth, her wealth, or accomplishments or her age. She tries to be as respectful as possible and is humble.

She gets the best quality that she can afford and will use it until it needs to be replaced.

How To Be Lovely

is a giver.

A giving person is not merely identified as one who is generous with her finances, but her time, her words, her things, affection, her compliments, encouragement and praises.

I think ultimately being lovely comes when one is inspired for the love of people, which comes supernaturally from God.

This comes when you realize how much God loves you, imperfect wonderful you. When we realize how much in spite of ourselves, how loved we are, it brings out the wonderful sense of loveliness where we can now bestow on others.