Manners Today: Declining An Invitation With "I'll Pass"

by Anthony

Isn't there a much more appropriate and gracious way to decline an invitation rather than " I think I'll pass"?

This says I am not interested or I don't feel like taking the time to attend your function/party/dinner,etc.

It is unfortunate to me that this response has become so well used that even some more gracious and well mannered folks have fallen into this cheap response.

There are so many other less insulting or aggravating responses that could/should be used in my estimation.

I have three brothers who occasionally decline our invitations, and each generally uses the so easy " I think I'll pass" response, without any other explanation as to why.

This aggravates me so that I am now asking for your help. I'm certain my mother, rest her soul, would not approve of their casual approach to proper manners, even among family members.

We are all male and in our sixty's, by the way, and certainly should know better in my view.
Am I right or just living in the past? Thanks

Comments for Manners Today: Declining An Invitation With "I'll Pass"

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 09, 2009
I Agree It Is Not The Most Refined Way
by: Eunice

Dear Anthony,

I wholeheartedly agree with your view.

"I'll pass" does show a little thoughtlessness and should only be used for very very very casual invitations, or not used at all.

It is certainly not a way to respond to an invitation where the host has put in considerable effort.

There are many other ways to politely and graciously decline an invitation. After all, getting invited is a kind and thoughtful gesture.

It is hard to make being kind and having manners a priority in someone else so try not to take offense, grinning and bearing it the best you can.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Ask a Question.


Don't Miss Important Updates
Subscribe via email
Subscribe to
Elegant Letters




I keep this private.

Subscribe to my blog.
Latest Entries
Jun 19, 2016

Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap - The Up Series Documentary. "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man."

This is about Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap as documented by The Up Series Documentary. In this documentary, the findings show how unfortunately equal opportunities do not exist for every person, however, it gives us more reason to realizeand believe that by making a focused and educated change, there can be greater social mobility and we can all overcome obstacles, defying limitations of financial background and upbringing.

Continue reading "Class Distinctions and Bridging the Gap - The Up Series Documentary. "Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man.""

Mar 07, 2016

An Accomplished Lady - As defined by Jane Austen

Who is the accomplished lady? Jane Austen tells us who deserves the respect and praise of being educated, refined and accomplished.

Continue reading "An Accomplished Lady - As defined by Jane Austen"

Nov 23, 2015

How To Be Gentle

Lessons on how to be gentle derived from elegant women whose poise and grace inspire us.

Continue reading "How To Be Gentle"

Oct 05, 2015

An Elegant Style - Designer or Non designer

Recently, I've been inspired by the non-designer elegant woman. Somehow I choose now to reflect who I am and my current place in society more accurately with the things I put on my back. This is just how I define my own personal brand of elegance and elegant style. Read about the inspiration behind that.

Continue reading "An Elegant Style - Designer or Non designer"

Aug 18, 2015

A Woman of Grace

The mesage of grace: Be known as a woman of grace. Hold yourself to a standard of grace, not perfection and remember to extend that same measure of grace to others.

Continue reading "A Woman of Grace"

Aug 18, 2015

Lovely Quotes: How to be Lovely

Lovely Quotes on how to be feminine, fair and lovely - Daily inspirations on how lovely it is to be a woman!

Continue reading "Lovely Quotes: How to be Lovely"