Manners Today: Declining An Invitation With "I'll Pass"

by Anthony

Isn't there a much more appropriate and gracious way to decline an invitation rather than " I think I'll pass"?

This says I am not interested or I don't feel like taking the time to attend your function/party/dinner,etc.

It is unfortunate to me that this response has become so well used that even some more gracious and well mannered folks have fallen into this cheap response.

There are so many other less insulting or aggravating responses that could/should be used in my estimation.

I have three brothers who occasionally decline our invitations, and each generally uses the so easy " I think I'll pass" response, without any other explanation as to why.

This aggravates me so that I am now asking for your help. I'm certain my mother, rest her soul, would not approve of their casual approach to proper manners, even among family members.

We are all male and in our sixty's, by the way, and certainly should know better in my view.
Am I right or just living in the past? Thanks

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Nov 09, 2016
And they are..? NEW
by: Anonymous

What are those other ways to graciously decline? you say there are other ways but don't provide any examples.

Oct 09, 2009
I Agree It Is Not The Most Refined Way
by: Eunice

Dear Anthony,

I wholeheartedly agree with your view.

"I'll pass" does show a little thoughtlessness and should only be used for very very very casual invitations, or not used at all.

It is certainly not a way to respond to an invitation where the host has put in considerable effort.

There are many other ways to politely and graciously decline an invitation. After all, getting invited is a kind and thoughtful gesture.

It is hard to make being kind and having manners a priority in someone else so try not to take offense, grinning and bearing it the best you can.

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