Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette Part One

A general overview of Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette - I tried to make it a summary as much as possible.

It is a helpful book where the Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners helps us understand proper wedding etiquette from the letters she had received over the years. from the letters she has received.

While it is helpful, it can quite dry and boring (like most etiquette books). Unless you are going through the same situations yourself, it is a chore to read. So I hope by summarizing the best of the book here, I can save us all from the pain.

modern wedding
Modern Wedding Manners For The Modern Wedding

Luckily, I've had my own wedding and that is enough to understand most of the book!

On this page, I'll be addressing some of Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette's letters and will put my own spin to it from my perspective.

Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette

Is The Big Wedding Necessary?

As much as we like believe a wedding is simply about a couple, it is not. It is about uniting two families, sometimes two very large and different families, and sometimes clans!

a wedding party

There are many cultural, family expectations, unwritten rules embedded in it.

It is also about people pleasing.

Should you elope?

I agree with the book Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette when it says elopement is an easy way out.

"The fuss that others want to avoid is the time and energy, not to mention money involved in putting on a lavish production. They are quite right. Running a three day show for hordes of business acquaintances is neither necessary nor tasteful."

I like the part where she talks about running a wedding like a show and truly it is quite vulgar.

Somehow, I've seen both simple and lavish weddings that can be equally elegant.


Purpose of Weddings

"What does seem necessary to the human spirit is some sense of ritual connected with so momentous a step in life."

Continue to page two

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