Ms Manners - Everyday MannersIn a Ms Manners style, this page was written to guide us through everyday life, taking into account setting examples of good manners for children, inspiration from victorian manners. Ms MannersLadies or Gentlemen FirstIt is always good manners to have a "ladies first" policy. Even though this is modern day, there is nothing wrong with continuing the customs that allowing a man to extend instinctive consideration to the women around him. I've always found myself pleasantly surprised in certain countries where a man often let me have his turn when I'm waiting for the washroom in a airline, to board a bus, sometimes even pay for something at the register. It is also a lovely feeling when a man opens the doors for me, lets me out of a lift first, gives me their seat on the train and I always thank them with a big smile.  Point to note is to instill such values into my future sons. In a narrow passage way, a lady should walk first unless the road is on rocky ground, or the man needs to be first to help the lady, perhaps cross some difficult path. When doing so, he may place his hand under her elbow appropriately. When walking, ladies should allow gentlemen to walk on outside, according to tradition. It is good etiquette for a man to stand aside and allow a woman to pas through an open door ahead of him. If the door is closed, he reaches forward and opens the door for her. However, if it is a heavy door, it makes more sense for him to step ahead and push the door open, leading the lady through it. Ladies should always say thank you and smile, to encourage more of these behaviour! Any courteous person holds a door open for the person following him or her. It is extremely rude to let a door slam in their face. Gallantry is always in style. Ms MannersBeware of Your Personal HabitsIf you can, have yourself videotaped for a couple hours and you'll be amazed to find yourselves doing unconscious behaviours, comprised of all personal habits. I often cringe when I watch a video of myself and realize how many bad habits I have developed by the way I speak, laugh, walk etc. Its natural to be a little critical of ourselves and self conscious. As Emily Post says, "these are some things that present an image of who we are to others, and if we are sloppy in performing them, this image may well be other than we would like it to be."
A person who stands and sit straight exhibits good posture. A common bad habit is a round-shouldered slouch, with head thrust forward and stomach left to 'hang out'. *Graceful standing and walking consists of, shoulders back, chin in and slightly up, abdomen and stomach in, back straight and knees relaxed. Arms should swing naturally. How did Audrey Hepburn, one of the most elegant women of all, attain beautiful carriage and posture? According to one biographer, her grandmother tied her neck to the back of her chair at the table, so she would not slump over her food, but rather would learn to put only small amounts of food on her spoon to bring to her mouth. When we practice enough, good carriage and posture becomes instinctive. *Referenced from: Ms MannersBe a Good Neighbour We are living in extremely closer proximity with each other than before, hence the need to be a good neighbour prevails. Be careful about the volume of your music, television, your children, your voices especially living in close quarters such as in apartments. Do not be moving furniture in the middle of the night or letting your washing machine run. Best to set a household rule that everyone should quieten down after 930 pm. Respect your neighbour's privacy. Do not pry or ask any questions that might invade into her privacy. Do not impose on your neighbours' expertise. Just as you would not wish them to impose on you, for example, if you are a doctor, you would not wish for your neighbours to regularly pop in to give free advice. The same goes for tax or legal advice. If neighbours who impose on your professional abilities or personal time, simply and gently refuse saying, "I'm really sorry, my attorney advises against consulting in an unprofessional setting, why don't you come to see me in my office". Most people will get the hint though you could offer a discount of some sorts. Ms Manners, Peggy Post says some doctors she knows become social hermits because people constantly ask them about their conditions. Can you imagine how annoying it must be? Never borrow your neighbour's eggs, sugar, flour, or coffee maker. Make up an excuse if people want to borrow yours saying you are using it right now. As for neighbour's pets, never ever feed them with your food. Never feed them, period. Just like we don't like other people to reprimand our children, we should not be deciding on what goes into their beloved pet's body. Ms MannersPublic PlacesDon't tailgate others when walking. Use "Please excuse me" in a gentle yet firm tone, not snap, "Excuse me!" Definitely no shoving or pushing anyone. Clean up after yourself, throw away your litter. Speak softly on cell phones when you are in a public place and you should not be using your cell phone in certain places, restaurants, libraries, museums, churches etc. At least turn them to silent mode. Please keep public rest rooms as clean as possible when you use it.
We all hate using dirty restrooms yet many women can't be bothered to throw the used hand towels or paper towels in the allocated area, leave hair on the sink, wet the sink area etc. Their behavior suggests that in their own homes, they would not object if their beds were never made! Lastly, be considerate to those who serve you. Peggy Post says that this sort of discourtesy is a sure sign of insecurity. Those who have self confidence do not need to act in that way in an effort to prove themselves superior. She goes on to say, Good manners and thoughtfulness are so much a part of their nature that they treat everyone with whom they come in contact with the same courtesy, whether there is anything to be gained by doing so or not. You might also be interested in:
 Return to the top of Ms Manners
|
