No Kidding..."How Can You Not Want Kids?"

by Tired
(New York)

My husband and I are childless by choice, and I'm curious as to how Miss Manners thinks we should respond to queries (often very long-winded, obnoxious queries--"But why? Who will take care of you when you're old? How can you not want kids--they're so cute?--It's so rewarding, you're missing out?--and so on.) We have tried many different tactics, and nothing seems to convince our friends and family that we seriously just don't want 'em. We aren't sure why people find it so strange that two people who don't want kids wouldn't have them--we think it'd be far worse to have kids we don't want....

In any event, I'd like your opinion. I don't want to offend these people by explaining to them that an important choice they've made in their life is so very unappealing to us, though the opposite seems to occur without hesitation. I'm tired of coming up with apologetic explanations, when I've nothing to apologize for.

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Mar 18, 2014
why don't you want children NEW
by: Anonymous

I think the best answer would be, "Why in the world would you want to know that?"

Nov 15, 2012
This Should Shut Them Up! NEW
by: Anonymous

Not everyone has a pleasant experience at raising children. My husband and I each have one son from previous relationships and both boys are loved, and well cared for, but frankly, parenthood is HIGHLY over rated in our eyes!

May 08, 2010
Eunice Replies
by: Eunice replies

Oh the above comment was from me. I sometimes forget to type in my name.


May 08, 2010
For personal reasons
by: Anonymous

I suggest you just limit your response to not having kids in the future to just, "oh for personal reasons" and let them deduce what exactly does that mean however they want.

If they probe further, just say, "I'm sorry I can't say but having all these nieces and nephews, and all the kids of my close friends already make me feel like I've got them."

Or just stick to, "I'm sorry I can't say" Then change the subject, or pretend you have to go to the ladies.

Some people will never understand or refuse to accept that people have a different opinion or choice than theirs so why should anyone even bother to explain.

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