Over bearing friend


(Minneapolis)

I have a "friend" who asked me to start a book club with her.


I asked a bunch of my friends, all of her supposed friends backed out last minute.

Turns out she doesn't have any friends. We have met for the book club once a month for a year.
I have seen a different side of this friend and no longer want her part of my life.

I think she used me to make connections. She is trying to be best friends with all my friends, buying inappropriate gifts, asking everybody to do things outside of book club.

Nobody is interested, nobody likes her. This has been stated to me out right. Everybody is tired of the constant invites and are starting to feel obligated to do things with her out of guilt.

This month one of the women in book club is celebrating her 40th birthday. My "friend" found out about it and bought an expensive bottle of wine for her, expecting everybody in book club to go in on it with her.

When I told her no she got mad and said that we've all been in book club for a year now and we are all really great friends and we should celebrate life's big moments together. I think the woman has serious emotional problems.

Everybody wants her out of book club and I want her out of my life. Biggest problem is she is my neighbor. I don't know what to do because I don't want things to be awkward. I have to see her every day at the bus stop.

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Oct 01, 2009
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Breaking Up With Friends
by: Eunice

Breaking up with friends is a never easy thing to do.

I often get conflicted because inside you, you want to be nice but also, you are going crazy.

It's even worse if you have to see the person everyday.

I suggest you dissolve the book club, and you slowly distance yourself away from her. You can still be friendly but limit your actual social gatherings with her from once in 2 months, then once in 4 months and then meet up once in a long while. This is of course in hope that she gets the idea and find friends that are more 'in tune' with her style.

Of course it can get very nasty and confrontational. If you are being confronted, just be honest but kind and say that "doing those social things" with her are not really your thing. Say she's better off finding other people who are more into it to hang out with her.

When you meet her at the bus stop, simply be friendly, say hello etc but remember you are not obligated to take it further than that.

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