People who use 'Darling, Honey, Baby, Sweetie' Too Much And Inappropriately

by Anne
(Albuquerque, NM)

I'm ready to pull my hair out!!!!!

I work for the State of NM, directly under the Governor's office. It is well known that everyone conducts themselves in a professional manner at all times. Having said that, I'm having an issue with a co-worker that I am unable to resolve.

First of all, I am turning 50 years old shortly. I have four children, two of which are over 30 years old. I am a grandmother of four. I have been married for 32 years now.

Recently, our agency hired a young lady who has just turned 30 years old. Since the very first day, she has addressed me as honey, sweetie, darling, sunshine, gorgeous, baby, etc., you get the point. It doesn't matter if I am busy working, she will come up to my desk and say something like, "Hi honey", or "Good morning gorgeous", or "Hey baby". All day, everyday. I could just scream because I feel that these words that are used to address me are very inappropriate, not only personally but professionally. I feel this way because I am old enough to be her mother and I have children older than her. I feel that because of our age difference, it is extremely rude and inappropriate. Not to mention these names are all said at work and is very unprofessional.

I thought I found a way to solve the issue and I'll tell you how I approached her one day.

I came in to my office after taking a break and within 5 minutes, she said, "Oh honey, I missed you, I'm so glad your back". I smiled at her and said and I quote "You know something, since you started working here, you have called me honey, baby, sweetie, gorgeous and then I asked her "what else do you call me?", and she said "oh, I call you darling," and I said, "yes, that's right you do call me that." Then I looked at her straight in the eyes and still smiling I said, "You call me all those nice names but do you know what I would really like for you to call me?" and she of course said, "what would you like me to call you sugar" and I said "I'd really like for you to call me Anne."

Well, as luck would have it, the director of the agency walked by and overheard my request to her. She saw the look on his face, which was one of relief. Everyone who has overheard her for the past 4 months could probably say it has been the most irritating thing they had to listen to.... so you're wondering if it worked? I did for approx. 3 days. Then it started up again like nothing ever happened.

Please, I'm begging you Miss Manners, help me! I am at the end of my tolerance level. I'm ready to say something to her that would not be professional of me! I just want her to stop and I'm out of ideas on how to make that happen.

Thank you and you may publish this letter as I'm sure I am not the only person out there with this problem. Maybe it just might help someone else besides myself.