R.S.V.P. No Shows, No Calls

by Dennis F. Hargitt
(Conroe, Texas)

Dear Miss Manners:

This last Sunday was my first piano recitial with a invitation to my guest to my home for a after party, catered event.

The one bothersome issue I am having difficulty getting over are the individuals who confirm they will attend and then don't show, call or inform of there no show, especially when you go to so much work to preparing a special catered event. A simple telephone call would have been exceptable.

One of my dear friends whom I worked with called me the morning of the event and apologized that she had come down ill and was not going to be able to attend; I accept that, and these things happen. But those who simply dismiss and don't even acknowledge the fact they had accepted attendance and do not call really puzzles me. It is very dishearting and hurts to know that they have no respect for anothers efforts or feelings.

I would like to know the best way to respond appropriately when they bring up there excuse for not attending nor calling. Is this standard protocol and gives free rein to the individual not to call either way?

I'm very puzzled by this and am working to sort out the ill feels of disrespect people place on one another.

Sincerely,

D. F. Hargitt
Conroe, Texas