Taking the wedding centerpeices and decoration

by Heather
(Connecticut)

My fiancé and I are getting married in June this year. We are planning a beautiful evening under the stars in an enchanting garden. We will treat our guests to a huge meal, fantastic wines, scotch, cigars, dancing, and of course wedding favors. As we are both adults, we are splitting the cost between us, and our parents will not be contributing financially. Like many couples, I have the task of planning, organizing, and decorating. I am fortunate that my mother, sister, and best friend are willing and able to assist me. We have a clear plan for all the decorations during and after the event, including the flower arrangements and centerpieces. Some of the vases, stanchion hooks, orchids, and urns will be borrowed from my mother and sister.


Recently, I meet with my soon-to-be mother-in-law, because she wanted to be kept abreast of the planning. We reviewed all the details to her satisfaction, but I realized that we may have a difference of opinion on one point. She indicated that some of "her guests" may take home the centerpieces or the orchids in the powder rooms. She hasn't and won't be asking anyone to "feel free" to take any decorations, but she indicated that we should let them as they invited her to their sons weddings, which were quite extravagant. I informed her that it would be rude for any guest to take decorations from a wedding unless they were offered by the host, i.e. my fiancé and me. Also, I reminded her that not all of the decoration will belong to me, and I would be very upset if someone took my mother or sister's belongings. I made it very clear to her that I would not allow this rudeness, and my fiancé, mother, sister, and best friend will be advised to keep their eyes open for thievery.

Subsequently, I spoke with my fiancé, mother, sister, and best friend. We are all in agreement on this point, should we see someone trying to purloin decorations we will handle it discreetly and politely. My mother-in-law to be still disagrees and thinks it would be rude to stop people from taking decorations. I love her dearly, but I disagree with her. Can you settle this dispute please?

Bothered bride-to-be

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Oct 25, 2015
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Sep 11, 2015
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Oct 07, 2013
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Rude! NEW
by: Anonymous

Frequently vases etc are rented! No one should walk off with the décor!!

Jun 22, 2013
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Oct 11, 2011
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centerpieces
by: Dandelion

No one should be removing centerpieces or decorations without express instructions or permission from the hosts.

I'm amazed that your mom-in-law is using a "high-class" event to defend this. It does a grave disservice to the people who hosted the previous weddings that she would be advocating thievery in their names. Being able to walk off with the decor is not the definition of a high-class wedding.

Mar 22, 2011
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Rude indeed!
by: Anonymous

It would be quite rude, if not outright thievery, to take decorations that have not been offered. That anyone would presume to do so shocks me! I know at many weddings the decorations (or parts of them) are rented, and therefore available for guest consumption. Stick to your guns, and if anyone is seen attempting to take something, they can be gently, but firmly directed toward the wedding favors.

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