Three months later and I still have your thank you gifts

by Still Holding the Bags

Dear Miss Manners:

Last year was exceptionally challenging for me. First, I was laid off from my job in April. Then in October I lost everything I owned in a fire. My apartment building was destroyed and I had no renter's insurance. Throughout this period strangers have been very kind to me. During the Christmas holidays, a friend of a friend contacted me and said that she would like to fly me home for the holidays to be with my family. She heard about my story and she wanted to do something nice for me since I had had such a crappy year. I hesitated because it was a generous gift from someone I did not know very well. But she insisted. She would not take 'no' for an answer. Thanks to her generosity I flew home to see my family and had a wonderful time!

I wanted her to know how thankful I was for the trip. Since I returned I called and left 4 voicemail messages to tell her that I have thank you gifts to give her. I could not let her generosity go unrecognized. She never responded. When she did not respond to my calls I emailed her. Her response was she is traveling out of town for business and did not know when she will return. She does not seem to care whether she gets her gifts or not. It's going on four months and I still have her thank you gifts. What should I do?


Still Holding the Bags

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Jul 17, 2015
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by: Roy

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Jan 15, 2011
She's sending a message...
by: CC

She may be a shy or just a reserved type of person. By avoiding you and not answering your calls she is letting you know that she doesn't want a thank-you gift, so be considerate of her feelings.

Find a charity or some particular person in need and donate the gift(s) to them in her honor. Who knows, you may start something wonderful--people helping others when they can, spreading kindness to others in a network of charity!

After the donation(s) you should send her a handwritten note explaining what you did to thank her. She would probably treasure it, but don't expect an answer.

Best wishes,

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