To No Longer Be "White Trash"

by Ally

I grew up in a very low middle class family. Now, I am dating someone from upper middle class. Whenever I invite him somewhere, it's to get ice cream or to the county fair. Something like that. Whenever he invites me somewhere, it's to Sunday Dinner with his family, or out to the theater. I guess, my goal is to no longer be considered White Trash when compared to them, and just, be more sophisticated.

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Aug 13, 2014
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Your Social Status Does Not Make You a Human Being You Do NEW
by: Megan

So, you were raised as a country mouse and you enjoy doing things out in the country on your dates? Have you ever stopped to think that your boyfriend is attracted to you because of this? Unless he has put you, your upbringing, and anything else about you down, stop fretting about being "white trash". Lots and lots of people have gone from rags to riches from who they dated/married.

People have all sorts of experiences in life but at the end of the day, what draws people to you is how YOU make them feel. Regardless of where you were brought up, you can still be a kind, funny, engaging, switched on person. You obviously are still open to new experiences because you continue to date your boyfriend and enjoy the things you do together. Be happy about what you can offer this individual and be proud of where you came from. It's when you put your background down that the problems start.

And if you don't come from a close knit family who hosts Sunday dinner but you enjoy this family's traditions, there's nothing wrong with that.

Ultimately, you have decide whether you are happy in this situation. If you feel out of place, then maybe this person isn't right for you. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date someone who grew up in a small town that you feel you will relate to better.

Like another person mentioned above, determine whether you are feeling inadequate because your boyfriend's family are snobs to you but never put yourself down.

May 27, 2014
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Hello there NEW
by: Donna

I too grew up middle class but I would say I was somewhere in the middle. I had a very good upbringing that enabled me to go out into the world and be myself, with manners. But there are those of us who are not as fortunate. After all, you really cannot help where you come from. Sometimes, that actually works for us. You can mold yourself into who you want to be. Oh what a beautiful feeling that will be for you if you do. My household growing up, was actually very strict and I chose not to raise my kids the same but to take the good and leave the bad behind. So I have two boys who have very good manners and dress appropriately for any and every occasion. We don’t have a lot of money but present ourselves in a way so as not to appear that we don’t. I shop at consignment shops, clip coupons, and buy good shoes. We live modestly and anyone who comes to my house can see that we live simply and affordably. It is both a reflection of my budget and lifestyle which if I have to sum up into one word I would have to say is simple. As a result, this affects other areas of my life. When I am home I have peace. When I am at work, I am able to stay calm when others may be frazzled. When I date, I am known as being very feminine and proper. I have to correct others often when they think I do come from an upper middle class background. But this is what is portrayed because it is my state of mind. I am not rich or even done yet in what I want to achieve as my definition of an elegant lifestyle; which is why I visit this website often. It is a constant editing and reorganizing process that never ends but is so worth it. But despite where I am in my own journey, it is in my mind that I am already there and this is what reflects to others. If you want this man to see you the way you want to be seen you will have to see yourself that way first. I’m not sure how old this post is but wherever you are in your life now, I wish you love, success, and good health.

Feb 25, 2013
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Rise above it NEW
by: Anonymous

Be clean, neatly and beautifully dressed within your means, have impeccable manners and kindness for everyone you meet no matter who they are. Then, no matter how slender your budget, you could never be mistaken for "white trash" except by snobs.

Feb 23, 2013
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Here is the thing... NEW
by: Hi

Growing up, my family was pretty poor and whenever I had to visit other relatives I felt like some charity case or not as good as others. I did feel like "white trash" but I couldn't let that thinking beat me down.
I read in a book about a woman who knew a rich woman who may have been very wealthy but acted awful vs another who was poor but spent her days helping other and was dignified and therefore had respect.

I let that story help me out, I may not have been wealthy like my relatives but acting with respect, elegance and having some manners opened a lot more doors for me. I know you feel a little insecure compared to your boyfriend BUT remember that it is the person...not the status that makes a difference. This website gives good tips on style and being refined but it has also made a wonderful case of being genuine and that means a lot. Stand up to your convictionns and stick to the morals and values taught and you will NEVER be "white trash".

Jan 29, 2013
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You are what you THINK you are NEW
by: Kai

As I read your concern, I had to find an example in my own life so that I could relate and offer a bit of wisdom.
It comes down to how much you value yourself; you are not "white trash" and thinking the contrary will only hinder you on your journey to becoming the elegant woman you wish to become.

The lessons the you've learned from where you've come are to be the building blocks. If you want for more than your meek begginings offer, then really use the time with your boyfriend to watch and learn, through observation, how to behave and feel at ease in a finer enviornment. Don't waste your time thinking that you are anything less than anyone around you. Let the way you believe, speak, act, and dress be a reflection of who you are- not where you're from.
Dear, it's about where you are going!
Find the good in the simple things in life, like getting ice cream, and enjoying the annual fair-enjoy those little treasures.

Nov 29, 2012
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Value Yourself For Who You Are NEW
by: Anna

Dear Ally, please don't devalue yourself in this way. Your partner has obviously chosen to be with you because of who you are and because he values you for that. So be happy with yourself as you are and don't try to fit into what you think is 'better' just because somebody else chooses to do different things from you. The differences between you just complement each other.

Oct 29, 2012
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Soap and Water NEW
by: Anonymous

Your comment that you no longer want to be seen as white trash is a bit odd.. Did you act like white trash ? Did you dress like white trash ? What does that mean ? Just because you were brought up with little money or material things really doesn't mean your trash . Many of us grew up that way . I was raised knowing soap and water is cheap. It doesn't take much to be clean . Class isn't something that comes with money . There are millionaires , billionaires that have none. It's your morals and values.

Oct 29, 2012
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Soap and Water NEW
by: Anonymous

Your comment that you no longer want to be seen as white trash is a bit odd.. Did you act like white trash ? Did you dress like white trash ? What does that mean ? Just because you were brought up with little money or material things really doesn't mean your trash . Many of us grew up that way . I was raised knowing soap and water is cheap. It doesn't take much to be clean . Class isn't something that comes with money . There are millionaires , billionaires that have none. It's your morals and values.

Oct 25, 2012
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nice ice cream NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi Ally, I thought the same way as you until not so long ago. Being brought up without the privliges that some of my friends had, I always felt inferior. Not anymore. Having discovered through Eunices website that you don, t need money to be superior or offer better things. Its the little things that go a long way, and if thats a trip to a fete and a tub of ice cream, then thats wonderful. Please don, t under estimate what you have to offer. Just be you. Xxxx

Oct 25, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
nice ice cream NEW
by: Anonymous

Hi Ally, I thought the same way as you until not so long ago. Being brought up without the privliges that some of my friends had, I always felt inferior. Not anymore. Having discovered through Eunices website that you don, t need money to be superior or offer better things. Its the little things that go a long way, and if thats a trip to a fete and a tub of ice cream, then thats wonderful. Please don, t under estimate what you have to offer. Just be you. Xxxx

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