uninviting a guest

by Jodell Lofgren
(Rockford, IL)

I had asked a "friend" (not close but had interacted with occasionally over the years) to make my wedding dress. AND invited her to the wedding so she could enjoy the compliments on her work. This was at the beginning of working relationship.


Unfortunately, it ended with my not having a dress, two weeks left to the wedding date, out $100 for payment of a dress I didn't get and another $200 in materials that could not be rescued to have someone else make the dress.

In addition, she did a shoddy job on my attendant's dress. With 5 days before the wedding we have to rectify that. Today I learned she still intends to come to the wedding. Is it possible to uninvite her?

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Jun 03, 2011
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Perhaps an "Uninvitation"
by: Charlotte

You might try sending her a message via voicemail, or a nice card via snail mail politely uninviting her. Manners should never lead you to be a pushover, and potentially put a damper on one of your most special days. You could say something to this effect:

Dear So and So,

Please accept my sincerest thanks on the work you did with my bride's maid gown. I do wish that our agreement with my wedding gown had ended on a more favorable note. Since that is not the case, I feel we might both be more comfortable if you did not attend the wedding/reception. I hope that you understand.

With sincerity,

So and So
-----------

Please, please, remember that uninviting someone can be done politely, but isn't neccessarily kind. It's always better to be aware of the company you keep, and the individuals you do business with to avoid uncomfortable situations such as this.

Good luck, and congratulations on your wedding!

-Charlotte

May 22, 2011
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What's done is done
by: Nakengi

I don't know that taking the invite back is the best thing to do. No matter how polite you try to be in doing so, you would still be taking back an invitation. I'm sure you will be so wrapped up in the joy of your special day you will not even notice her. Besides, what's done is done, no since holding a grudge against her or doing anything that may cause her to feel attacked or have hurt feelings.

May 13, 2011
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Absolutely (with a disclaimer)
by: Kathleen

Of course, you would not want this person to be at your wedding. Her presence would be a reminder of what went wrong with the dresses. Uninviting her would have to be done, however, without making her feel like she's being attacked. You can thank her (even if you don't feel like it) for the work she has put into making the attendant's dress, of course. Then you might want to point out that in light of what transpired with the wedding gown, perhaps she might feel uncomfortable attend the wedding. Of course, you don't have to have this talk with her yourself. Find one of your family or friends who is well versed in tact (and not giving in) to approach this person.

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