Wedding Reception EtiquetteGeneral Wedding Reception EtiquettePage summary: etiquette at a wedding reception, etiquette wedding reception toasts, wedding reception ideas, wedding reception checklist, proper wedding etiquette  A wedding reception is pretty much a wedding feast thrown for guests in celebration following the wedding ceremony. The tradition of a wedding feast can be traced as far back as early as the biblical times. There is something symbolic to breaking bread with one another as part of any celebration. The reception always follows the ceremony. Whether it is right after, or if there is a few hours break will affect the type of etiquette you may employ. If you choose to have two separate guest lists, one for the ceremony and one for ceremony AND reception, you might want to schedule at least three to four hours 'break' before you have your reception. That would allow those not invited to the reception to graciously slip away. Those invited to both may have a little time to freshen up.
If you choose to have the ceremony and reception back to back, then the guideline is those invited to the ceremony must be invited to the reception followed after. Guests cannot leave in between, arrive only for the reception. Also, if you were to invite children, you cannot separate them in order of importance, especially if they are from the same 'social group' e.g. family, Sunday school class etc. Children of the same age must be allowed together. That is the proper wedding reception etiquette. Wedding Reception EtiquetteChoose Your Reception WiselyThe traditional reception is formal, and almost always involves a sit-down meal. However, if you cannot afford that, do not attempt to try to charge your guests for a full cash bar or a partial cash bar where guests will pay for their own drinks. Serve, tea or punch. The popular evening wedding does call for dinner which makes it a poor choice for a limited budget. If you cannot cut your guest list (and you shouldn't simply because of a 'nicer' wedding), you might want to consider alternative types of reception For instance, you could consider brunch, cocktails and hors d'oeuvres, afternoon tea, or a dessert reception. It is the time of day where you'll hold your wedding that counts. If you choose an early morning 9 am wedding, you could serve a beautiful wedding breakfast with excellent coffee or tea. A lovely wedding at 11 am is very chic too, where you could serve a very relaxed and long brunch. A wonderful extensive selection of tea with cookies and cake is a fantastic idea for a wedding at 230 pm and definitely a fantastic visual array of teapots and teacups. Your menu could contain finger sandwiches, wedding cake, champagne or punch. It can be done rather chic and easier on your pocket. Fill your dessert reception with cheesecakes, chocolate and a wide variety of ice cream. I'm sure guests will be talking about all the gorgeous sweets and their fulfilled taste buds for a long time to come. Wedding Reception Etiquette Important NOTE!Do note that all variations on the traditional reception should be noted on the invitation - "please join us for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres following the ceremony" so that guests can plan accordingly. Wedding Reception EtiquetteThe Cuisine Different cultures? Which cuisine to serve? Work it out the best you can with honest and open communication. One way is to work out which country is the reception held in. If it is in Italy, by all means serve Italian food. If both of you are in a multi-cultural society and have different cultural foods, you may opt to see which the majority of attendance of guests form which culture and try to serve a few portions of neutral foods within the culture. For e.g. chicken or a potato dish - everyone eats that! If you are happy to serve two options, go ahead and do so. There are no rules for serving food except that they should not be too exotic or spicy. Certainly the older folks would not appreciate exotic food and most people cannot take spicy food! Always remember your vegetarian counterparts and offer a substantial offering to those of that diet. Miss Manners' Quote of Wisdom "Hardly better is the notion that everything must be exactly equal." Wedding Reception EtiquetteThe Menu Choices?It is very often I hear that caterers offers three entree choices. Then you have to deal with the response cards listing choices, a seating chart, place cards etc. What happened to the dinner party style- just eat what it is served? Now while wedding menus and its variety of offerings have to alter slightly as a result of modern day "society's preoccupation with what it eats", you, the elegant bride have to play the role of a good host. "A good host is by no means obliged to provide different meals-on-order for everyone, but tries to have a wide-ranging menu that will give at least some sustenance to everyone. " - Miss Manners Wedding Etiquette An interesting thought I've collected from Miss Manners: Miss Manners finds the project of having guests order in advance not only ridiculous and cumbersome, but ultimately futile, as no two or three choices could possibly accommodate all the variations now in common practice. Its true isn't it that no matter how many choices you offer, you can never really fully satisfy everyone. Why not just have a big dessert buffet so everyone gets a treat? I like that idea. Wedding Reception EtiquetteGetting Guests To Pay For Their Own Drinking Appetite
No it is never proper to ask for guests to pay for their own drinks at your wedding. Serve water, tea, coffee, soft drinks, fruit punch with dignity. Seating ArrangementWeddings also function as family reunions. Never put someone classified as 'family' in a table of singles simply because she/he is unmarried. This is an awful assumption. Place her/him with her family and let them introduce themselves at the punch table or at the dance floor. No one is completely happy with their seating arrangements because there are 75% imperfect seats in the house. Some are too far away from the stage, or has their back facing the stage, are placed in tables in companies of secret enemies etc. Guests may come alone and not know many people etc etc.
Understanding that no one is completely happy with their seat allows you to possibly integrate lots of entertainment, good food and wine and dancing to distract them from their reality. Having a buffet allows guests to get up, change seats, go to temporary seats to catch up with a familiar face (while the real person of that seat is busy getting food or talking to someone on her way back to the seat.) Providing good music and a dance floor gives anyone the ability to use the excuse of leaving her seat to go to the dance floor. Pre-arranged seating allocation is necessary of course. If not, it might escalate into childish behaviour of reserving seats and fighting over seats. As much as we'd like to think that it will not happen, it will.  To continue reading Wedding Reception Etiquette, please go to page two. You might also be interested in: Wedding Manners
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