What about those napkins?

What about those napkins?

My friends and I are curious to know whether there is ever a correct time for anyone over the age of 21 to tuck one's dinner napkin into one's shirt rather than put it in one's lap. I was taught that it's incorrect, but I've seen some elegant people do it--and I don't mean at crab-feeds.

Please clear this up for us!

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Our words reveal our refinements; they tell the discerning listener of the company we have kept; they are the hallmarks of education and culture. - Dale Carnegie

I recognize but one mental acquisition as a necessary part of the education of a lady or gentleman, namely, an accurate and refined use of the mother tongue. - Dr Charles W. Eliot