What is an appropriate wedding gift for a destination wedding?

by William Smith
(Millis, MA, USA)

My wife and I recently attended my forty year old brother's second wedding.

His thirty five year old new wife has never been married before. The wedding was a cruise wedding.

We are under financial strain because we just finished paying for our youngest to go to college and are saving for our other daughter's wedding which is less than a year away. The bottom line is that we didn't have the money.

However, out of five siblings, none were going, because of the cost, and I felt guilty. So we shelled out the $3000. We had a great time. Never-the-less, if we had a diplomatic and guilt free way to have not gone to the wedding we would have taken it.

My elderly parents also attended the wedding. They generously paid for four early teenage nieces to attend. (The bride had asked the girls to be in the wedding party, without having talked to the parents.)

The wedding was two months ago. Now the bride is complaining that my parents did not give a wedding gift. My parents paid over $7000 to attend the wedding. My parents also gave my brother $20,000 as a wedding gift for his first wedding. (My brother has not told this to his new wife.)

What if any, is an appropriate gift from my parents?

What if any, is an appropriate gift from me and my wife?