Dating Tips For Women
Welcome to Elegantwoman.org's 'Dating Tips For Women'
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Learning How To Date
One of my favourite dating tips for women is to say we've got to learn how to date all over again. Why? Sometimes when I have coffee with my girlfriends or read the emails to me, I get the impression that we are overly influenced by romantic Hollywood movies and romance novels. We have too high expectations for our first date. We also put too much pressure on ourselves and our date.
There is also too much focus on the 'dating ritual' - it is almost artificial. What is that ritual? A romantic setting in a fine-dining restaurant, dinner and a movie, flowers, chocolate, emphasis on gifts, holidays...
Don't get me wrong, I certainly love all these things and there is a time and place for all these. While romance is essential in a relationship, we'll have to remember that all of the above are 'artificial environments'.
I mean, we sometimes forget that the whole purpose of dating is to see if you like your company, whether you'll get along, if you'll be able to 'do life together'. You want to find a person you can respect, of worthy character and a person you can resolve conflict with. Let's face it, life is never perfect nor smooth sailing.
Sometimes, I feel people place too much value on superficial things - so don't write off the date if he does not fit your idealized Hollywood standard date. We can look beyond.
What Exactly Is a Date?
In 'Dating Tips For Women', I thought it'll be fun to include this section, how do you define 'DATE'?
For all you dating veterans, please pardon me while I waffle on, just for a minute here. We've all be in those situations before. We ask ourselves, Is he asking me out as a friend or is this a date? It is all getting confusing.
What dating really is:
It is a time spent with between two persons getting to know each other - seeing if they are compatible companions for life.
It sounds simple especially when you remove the Hollywood Romantic goggles.
While it is simple, some people need the wine and dine, before they open up, or get comfortable with you. Others like to really work at it, to show you how much they think you're worth. It is all good, but just don't forget that at the end of the day, you're there to get to know each other.
I also feel that in order to successfully date, you'll have to be comfortable in your own skin. That means that you're aware of your likes and dislikes, strengths, a certain extent of how you want to live your life...
While dating is a medium to figure out who you want to live with, it is not a time to casually experiment or a way to expense your entertainment. That would be highly inconsiderate because you are taking advantage of someone else's time and resources, not to mention, toying with someone else's feelings.
Preparing Yourself For A Date
Preparation is another favourites among the greatest dating tips for women, yet I've hardly found any one writing about it.
If you really like that person, you'll want the date to be 'successful'. You'll obviously want to be asked out a 2nd time or 3rd etc.
I remember coming across a quote from a book I read ages ago,
Many people are looking for Mr Right but they don't realize that they have to be Miss Right to attract Mr Right.
This is hard to hear but birds of a feather really flock together.
There is an overemphasis on the 'outside appearance' in general. I definitely agree, that 'outside appearance' plays a big role in first impressions. First impressions are important - they communicate to the world who you are and what you think of yourself. Though sometimes, it is also good to try to look beyond that. A little patience in getting to know the person beyond appearance pays off. While you apply good grooming and elegant dressing, we'll also look for the 'insides' - personality and character.
This can be reflected in that person's manners. We can also do a self check on OUR manners.
While it is not 100% accurate, it gives a good idea.
Back to this section, I was once in discussion with a friend over this topic and also complimented him that he and my husband are a dying breed of true gentlemen. I told him that another friend heard me sing their praises and asked me to find a similar man for her daughter. He smiled and said, "To attract a good buyer, you must have a quality product. Without that, you'll only have lousy buyers."
Maybe I'll leave you with that thought for now.
Continue on to First Date Etiquette.
Continue reading 'Dating Tips For Women 'Page Two - When he calls.
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