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Got a Question? Ask Miss Manners

(Well...me, really.)

What is this page about? ask miss manners, miss manners advice, missy manners, miss manners column, ms manners

In true "Dear Miss Manners" or "Ask Miss Manners" style, I try to answer all these questions that you've emailed the best I can.

Ask A Question! Or Share A Story!

Do you have a question? Or a story? Please share!

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What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Receiving GIfts  starstarstarstarstar
We are having a birthday party for my one year old daughter. We are inviting about 40 people, close friends and family. On the invite, we put "No Gifts ...

Unwelcome dog  starstarstarstarstar
We have friends from out of town who stay with us once a month or so while they go to appointments or social events in the city.

Despite the fact that ...

Electronic Cards versus mailed Cards  starstarstarstarstar
We had a baby shower and would like to send Thank You cards to all of the guests. Is it ok to send an electronic thank you card rather than a 'paper' card?...

Guilty of petty judgement  starstarstarstarstar
so...this is a toughie but its starting to become a real issue and I'm wondering if you have any friendly suggestions as to how to handle this.

I absolutely ...

Party Food Etiquette  starstarstarstarstar
Dear Miss Manners,

During a Christmas party at work, I witnessed several co-workers "breaking pieces" of food in half, on the serving platters, and ...

Received a Thank You Card For Something I Didn't Give  starstarstarstarstar
I received a thank you card from my grandma for a gift (of tea) that I didn't give her. She didn't know who it was from I guess. What is the proper response?...

Intentionally Insulting Christmas Gift  starstarstarstarstar
This is a question about how to respond to a gift worse than nothing.

My nouveau riche inlaws palatial mansion has never been my favorite place to spend ...

Foreign Language  starstarstarstarstar
At a holiday gathering in my home I was having a small private conversation with my (immigrant, 90yr old) stepfather, explaining something to him that ...

A woman I know unnecessarily avoids me  starstarstarstarstar
A woman who was in my dance class for two years sits in the same commuter train car that I do. When the train arrives, she does everything she can possibly ...

Embarrasing gift  starstarstarstarstar
I just had surgery & was out of work over Thangsgiving. My boss called and said the staff wanted to drop a basket for me. I was very happy that they thought ...

Visiting Someone with Cancer  starstarstarstarstar
A very close friend of my husband's has just informed us that he has terminal cancer. He has been given 2 to 5 months to live. He says that presently ...

How do I elegantly respond to "Oh you shouldn't have!"  starstarstarstarstar
I never know what to say when I give a gift and the response is, "Oh, you shouldn't have!" I feel awkward and usually respond with, "Oh, but of course!...

Question to a question?  starstarstarstarstar
Is it considered bad manners to ask a question to a question that was asked of you, without actually answering?

e.g. Q: How is the weather your side?...

Grandma or Not  starstarstarstarstar
I am recently married (2 years, together for 6 years), we are in our late 40's early 50's.

My husband has a grown son who is now a dad himself. My ...

Grandma or Not  starstarstarstarstar
I am recently married (2 years, together for 6 years), we are in our late 40's early 50's. My husband has a grown son who is now a dad himself. My husbands ...

Bossy father in law  starstarstarstarstar
At my son's third birthday party, which we had at my in laws house, my father in law decided he was going to start bossing my 3 yr old around. My son ...

How to politely chastise a rude stranger?  starstarstarstarstar
It happens more often than I can handle, usually when I am in an already awkward situation, like on an elevator.

Some stranger will ask me out of ...

Jeffrey Kevin  starstarstarstarstar
Our son recently was diagnosed with cancer.

When out in the yard the other day, my neighbor and I were talking and I happened to mention it in passing....

Undisciplined children visiting your home...  starstarstarstarstar
Last week, my husband and I invited our employee's wife and two young children into our home, because it was snowing outside and it was the polite thing ...

How do you prevent your guests from taking the table decorations at a banquet or reception?  starstarstarstarstar
In an organization to which I belong, I was appointed to handle decorations for a recent banquet. I worked hard creating two dozen tall centerpieces adorned ...

Even if it is casual, shouldn't he introduce me?  starstarstarstarstar
Recently, my boyfriend and I were out with a small group of friends. He ran into a co-worker of his that I had never met. They chatted for a while, and ...

Strange situation: I know we should never point out bad manners of others but....  starstarstarstarstar
I recently began college with all news colleagues.

While I made a quick connection with some of them, I stay away from others because I really don't ...

Is it ok to refuse food?  starstarstarstarstar
I have a few pounds to lose, and some days I have the wherewithal to stay away from sweets.

Is it ill mannered to refuse food when someone asks if ...

Baby Shower  starstarstarstarstar
Dear Miss Manners,

I hosted a Jack and Jill baby shower for my friend and her husband. I am now emailing them the list of gifts that they received....

Girlfriend's husband "not too friendly"  starstarstarstarstar
I have been friends with Lisa for several years. Our friendship has become very close since our seven year old boys have been friends since preschool....

Wedding Gift  starstarstarstarstar
I attended a bridal shower where of course I took a gift. The wedding is today, do I take another gift, money or was the first gift appropriate?

Noisy Eater in the Workplace  starstarstarstarstar
I have a coworker who drives me absolutely insane with her loud gum chewing and ice chewing. We have cubicles next to each other. I usually drown out her ...

Disturbing E-mails  starstarstarstarstar
Miss Manners,

I am tired of getting e-mails from friends and family depicting disturbing images. I am usually a very laid back person and don't mind ...

Help with a sensitive wedding anniversary.   starstarstarstarstar
I've worked for my boss for nearly nine years and I consider he and his wife feel more like extended family. My boss recently suffered a near fatal arrhythmia ...

Sad/Angry/Confused Wife.  starstarstarstarstar
Husband was married to first wife. Three children, she dies when youngest was 18 years old.

Husband marries second wife 2+ years later. They hated ...

children at a wake and funeral  starstarstarstarstar
My daughter in law's 90 year old grandmother just passed
away. The wake is today at the funeral home.
My grandchildren ages 5 and 6 are being brought ...

Correct times for invitations  starstarstarstarstar
Just a question for an invitation which is a casual neighborhood night out party in our cul de sac. If I put a start time of 6:00 pm and an end time of ...

Over bearing friend  starstarstarstarstar
I have a "friend" who asked me to start a book club with her.

I asked a bunch of my friends, all of her supposed friends backed out last minute.

Turns ...

Phone call and the neighbor  starstarstarstarstar
I was on the phone with my girlfriend who was very upset with me about where our relationship is and my reaction to the situation. When my neighbor, who ...

Everybody's Cook  starstarstarstarstar
I love cooking and my family all know that. Often times I get invited for dinner and everyone waits around and talks about how hungry they are until I ...

Wedding Reception  starstarstarstar
A work friend of my husband's is getting remarried. This is actually 2nd and 3rd marriages on both sides. One of the guests at the wedding reception ...

Etiquette for receiving apparently unwanted gifts?  Not rated yet
We have several elderly neighbors, who we try to look out for all year. My husband and I often do little things like bringing their trash cans back from ...

Michele A. Beaver  Not rated yet
When mailing a card or letter to a couple that are living together (for 5 years) but not married or engaged, how do you address the card or letter? Is ...

What about those napkins?  Not rated yet
My friends and I are curious to know whether there is ever a correct time for anyone over the age of 21 to tuck one's dinner napkin into one's shirt rather ...

Formal tea party server  Not rated yet
I am giving a tea on Dec 13, and don't want to sit and pour tea the whole time, may I ask guests to take turns?

To read Miss Manners Advice and past questions and responses, go to Miss Manners Advice.

Elegantwoman.org also has a Facebook

Ask Miss Manners

Fine Manners of A Lady

I love how Candice Simpson-giles.describes being a lady:(Abridged version)

"Manners, attitudes, appropriate dress and social mores have changed so dramatically that the definition of being a lady has left everyone confused.

A lady by today's definition knows that educating herself in every way possible, from higher education to the common sense manners, empowers her to become a woman of accomplishment and poise.... Continue at How To Be A Lady

Miss Manners Advice Pages

If you are interested in "Ask Miss Manners" or "Dear Miss Manners", here are a list of pages that you might be interested.

  • Ms Manners Wedding Etiquette Part One

  • Manners

  • The Excellence of Manners

  • Bad Manners
  • Intrinsic Details of Elegant Socializing

  • Rules of Etiquette - A Lady's Etiquette

  • Common Etiquette Questions For A Lady

  • Gift Etiquette

  • Etiquette Charm Finishing School

  • The Concept of Finishing School

  • Sympathy Gift Etiquette

  • Sympathy Card Etiquette

    For even more...Others Ask Miss Manners

    “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”

    Clarence Thomas quotes

    Good manners sometimes means simply putting up with other people's bad manners.”

    For more quotes and inspirational sayings, please go to Polite Manners Sayings & Inspirational Quotes

    Thank you for reading "Ask Miss Manners" Page!

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    Return to Dear Miss Manners

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    Tags: ask miss manners, miss manners advice, dear miss manners, wedding etiquette and advice, missy manners, miss manners column, ms manners, mrs manners, etiquette questions, miss manners, emily post etiquette

    “A truly elegant taste is generally accompanied with excellency of heart.”


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